The Watchfires of Conn1 is a gargantuan, cultured nation, notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, avowedly heterosexual populace, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 28.553 billion Conn1ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 60.6%.

The all-consuming Conn1ian economy, worth a remarkable 2,414 trillion $$s a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 84,561 $$s, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.2 times as much as the poorest.

Conn1 City's main city thoroughfare has been blocked by a row of leyland cypresses that mysteriously appeared overnight, the nation's reputation for treachery has left it sidelined on the international stage, prisoners work-share to cut down rising costs of keeping them in jail, and all telephone traffic is monitored for 'national security reasons'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Conn1's national animal is the Dolly Varden, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Conn1 is ranked 43,689^th in the world and 1^st in Connemara for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 2,163.8 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.