The Mwahahahahhahahahah of Choosing whatever the first option says is a massive, safe nation, ruled by First Leader on Prime with an even hand, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, pith helmet sales, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, humorless population of 1.395 billion Primarians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Prime City. The average income tax rate is 73.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Primarian economy, worth 173 trillion first options a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 124,411 first options, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Going on a diet invalidates your passport, armed security details escort librarians to their homes, windows in Prime City don't have much of a view, and soldiers stream their classified military operations live for millions of fans. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Choosing whatever the first option says's national animal is the Optional Animal, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is The Cult of the First Order.

Choosing whatever the first option says is ranked 277,747^th in the world and 12^th in Grave for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -7.92 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.