The State of Chiputneticook is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by the Governor with a fair hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, complete lack of public education, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 33.224 billion Chiputneticookians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Law & Order, although Industry is also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Capital Heights. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.7%.

The thriving Chiputneticookian economy, worth a remarkable 1,434 trillion betales a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Furniture Restoration, and Soda Sales. Average income is 43,162 betales, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 181,610 per year while the poor average 6,656, a ratio of 27.3 to 1.

The tenet of free speech is held dear, the government is avowedly atheist, Chiputneticook has designated Capital Heights as its capital city, and The Governor has just been declared ruler of Chiputneticook in an international press conference. Crime is a serious problem. Chiputneticook's national animal is the deer, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Chiputneticook is ranked 97,876^th in the world and 5^th in Malawi for Most Primitive, scoring -12.25 on the Scary Big Number Scale.