The Tourist Traps of Central Florida is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Buddy Kelley with an even hand, and remarkable for its closed borders, frequent executions, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 13.121 billion Central Floridians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The minute government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Winter Park. The average income tax rate is 3.6%.

The thriving Central Floridian economy, worth a remarkable 1,169 trillion oranges a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Soda Sales industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Information Technology, and Retail. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 89,151 oranges, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.8 times as much as the poorest.

Glassy-eyed Central Floridian wives lifelessly chant "I love you" on command, visual acuity is worsening amongst teenagers, wealthy students ride to school past mendicant dropouts, and neon signs promoting safe driving often distract drivers. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Central Florida's national animal is the alligator, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Central Florida is ranked 277,451^st in the world and 64^th in Florida for Highest Food Quality, scoring 6.11 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.