The Republic of Celestial Ties is a massive, socially progressive nation, notable for its absence of drug laws, suspicion of poets, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working, democratic population of 2.202 billion Celestial Tiesians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The tiny, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Welfare, and Healthcare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.0%.

The strong Celestial Tiesian economy, worth 95.4 trillion gold coins a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Gambling. Average income is 43,314 gold coins, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 269,809 per year while the poor average 2,973, a ratio of 90.7 to 1.

Programmes of questionable content are shown at peak-hours, wildlife near farms is slowly becoming extinct, clerics are taught that silence is golden and duct tape is silver, and the urban poor thumbs down the new hitchhiking ban. Crime, especially youth-related, is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Celestial Ties's national animal is the black cat.

Celestial Ties is ranked 33,655^th in the world and 281^st in eta for Highest Drug Use, scoring 337.51 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.