The Holy Empire of Celdern is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Aurelian IX with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, aversion to nipples, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.412 billion Celdernites are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jerusalem. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 82.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Celdernic economy, worth 674 trillion Celdernic Flames a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 197,455 Celdernic Flames, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 599,536 per year while the poor average 50,537, a ratio of 11.9 to 1.

The law is more interested in punishing crime than preventing it, many Celdernites are their brothers' keepers, roads are often attended by round-the-clock construction crews, and the past is set in stone. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celdern's national animal is the Phoenix, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Sacred Protestant Christianity.

Celdern is ranked 64,990^th in the world and 14^th in THE SUPER POWERS for Most Extensive Public Healthcare, scoring 2,712.09 on the Theresa-Nightingale Rating.