The Empire of Calamar Vampiro is a mid-sized, orderly nation, notable for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 94 million Calamar Vampiroans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 49.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Calamar Vampiroan economy, worth 4.52 trillion Ink-Caps a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Trout Farming, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 48,097 Ink-Caps, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Cowboys often wear wolfskin jackets to the saloon, God took rock and roll from you, took rock and roll from everyone, luck is off the table, and adult magazines are having a sales resurgence as internet anonymity disappears. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Calamar Vampiro's national animal is the Vampire Squid.

Calamar Vampiro is ranked 80,348^th in the world and 5^th in The Holy Hawk Union for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 2,880.87 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.