The Federal Republic of Brisketania is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Philip Kabob with an even hand, and remarkable for its aversion to nipples, frequent executions, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed population of 5.993 billion Brisketanians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Meatopia Prime. The average income tax rate is 50.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Brisketanian economy, worth 565 trillion Paws a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Furniture Restoration, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 94,277 Paws, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Religious turf wars have caused frustrated police to pray for divine intervention, roads are often attended by round-the-clock construction crews, it can be a real jungle in a modern courtroom, and only 'organics' are permitted to be citizens. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Brisketania's national animal is the Fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Holy Sacrament of the Blue Fox.

Brisketania is ranked 81,467^th in the world and 1,849^th in the South Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 349.36 on the Clooney Contribution Index.