The Devolved Protectorate of Bhaiarch is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Governor Gabh with an iron fist, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, infamous sell-swords, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.707 billion Bhaiarchians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bhein. The average income tax rate is 53.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Bhaiarchian economy, worth a remarkable 1,131 trillion Szchequinns a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Book Publishing, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 116,592 Szchequinns, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

The carcasses of double-deckers can be found littering high streets all around the country, the 'no-coal' transition is being paid for in slashed student support funds, children must be board certified to append "Jr" to their name, and the disabled are forced to undergo an MRI scan every time they pick up their benefit payments. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bhaiarch's national animal is the Two Toed Sloth, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Shih.

Bhaiarch is ranked 220,128^th in the world and 10^th in The Most Gilt Republics for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -3.43 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.