The Republic of Assert is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its frequent executions, ban on automobiles, and ritual sacrifices. The cynical population of 10.243 billion Assertians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 34.2%.

The strong Assertian economy, worth 684 trillion rupees a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 66,790 rupees, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 311,742 per year while the poor average 8,565, a ratio of 36.4 to 1.

The government considers it a sacred duty to video bikini-clad beach swimmers, polygraphs are relegated to the dungeon exhibit in castle museums, ambitious "businessmen" use their children to sell and advertise their products, and Tom and Jerry cartoons have cat and mouse resolving their problems with reasoned discussion. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Assert's national animal is the dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Assert is ranked 54,109^th in the world and 1,105^th in Artificial Solar System for Most Primitive, scoring 51.27 on the Scary Big Number Scale.