The Bishopric of Ashkelon is a mammoth, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Bishop Levon Snow with an even hand, and notable for its absence of drug laws, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 8.572 billion Ashkelonians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Welfare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ashkelon. The average income tax rate is 62.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but sluggish Ashkelonian economy, worth 266 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Furniture Restoration, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 31,086 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League, it is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws, raindances intended to summon storms instead attract tourists, and the optimally efficient parking strategy for business commuters is referred to as the "traveling salesman problem". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ashkelon's national animal is the fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Ashkelon is ranked 85,230^th in the world and 7^th in Jerusalem for Most Cultured, scoring 67 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.