The Imperium of Agatep is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Francis Parker Jockey with an iron fist, and remarkable for its infamous sell-swords, vat-grown people, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 8.866 billion Agatepians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Administration, Education, and Industry also on the agenda, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ciudad de Ricardo. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Agatepian economy, worth a remarkable 3,711 trillion Larcs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 418,602 Larcs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The question "please would you...?" is usually laden with passive aggression, raver DJ XStacy holds multiple medical degrees in chillaxing, soldiers who shoot themselves in the foot are regarded as heroes, and the nation frequently scolds its subject territories for staying up past bedtime. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Agatep's national animal is the Camo Green Snake, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Imperial Spirit.

Agatep is ranked 31,995^th in the world and 205^th in Europe for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 4,801.66 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.