The Republic of Archbishopric of Cologne is a huge, efficient nation, remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, disturbing lack of elderly people, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 939 million Archbishopric of Cologneans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 37.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Archbishopric of Colognean economy, worth 99.9 trillion Ducats a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 106,420 Ducats, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Families are left homeless as entire suburbs are bulldozed on the whim of tribal chiefs, only 'organics' are permitted to be citizens, citizens must pay to enjoy Archbishopric of Cologne's pristine beaches, and an extra hand on the leg will give a horse-and-a-half of lead in a hundred jiffies on seven furlongs. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Archbishopric of Cologne's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Archbishopric of Cologne is ranked 171,309^th in the world and 304^th in Novaya Zemlya for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 187.34 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.