The Holy Lucky Pink Christmas of Woodlands is a huge, socially progressive nation, notable for its museums and concert halls, ubiquitous missile silos, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 686 million Cyrinics are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Murky Camp Harbour. The average income tax rate is 77.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cyrinic economy, worth 91.8 trillion gold bars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 133,750 gold bars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens know never to accept cookies from strangers, Europe holds its breath as nuclear warfare is being seriously considered, the nation is weighing the price of victory following a nuclear strike, and students consistently complain that the wi-fi ate their homework. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Woodlands's national animal is the Rudolph bat, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Woodlands is ranked 191,366^th in the world and 948^th in Europe for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring zero on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.