The Empire of Alvaca is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its pith helmet sales, state-planned economy, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 12.52 billion Alvacans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Spirituality, and Education are also considered important, while International Aid is ignored. The average income tax rate is 72.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but stagnant Alvacan economy, worth 218 trillion Ketshwas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, Woodchip Exports, and Soda Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 17,438 Ketshwas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Weapons produced by newly nationalized armaments factories have been found to contain sawdust instead of gunpowder, citizens are expected to be proficient in at least five languages, cutting-edge missile systems are being retrofitted to twin-prop air force biplanes, and this year's comedy award has left mothers-in-law seething. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alvaca's national animal is the alpaca, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Alvaca is ranked 284,464^th in the world and 163^rd in The World Rearranged for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 4,847.79 Standard Monetary Units.