The Republic of Abserdia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Great Cosmic Leader with an even hand, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, feral children, and remarkably easy parental licensing program. The compassionate, humorless population of 26.518 billion Abserdians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ankura. The average income tax rate is 95.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Abserdian economy, worth a remarkable 3,762 trillion Benjamins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 141,891 Benjamins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The children of Abserdia are often remarked upon for their cheery attitude to extreme violence, kids are taught in schools to argue with their parents, the government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region, and authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Abserdia's national animal is the Pangolin, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Celestialism.

Abserdia is ranked 189,754^th in the world and 3^rd in Alyr for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 1,114.11 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.