Fluent swearing in German God damnit I do not need this right now Nanites buzz in warning Great the missile is roughly a couple of mile off Fun
The fields of asphodel
Mindon
Actually there is still a missile coming, he just shot down a nanite created UAV and one of my airplanes which was carrying toxic chemicals. Seriously, it just launched, it's not gonna be here for a while.
Mindon
Wow that was quick. Also isn't anyone concerned about the whole "toxic chemicals falling into the already a disaster area city" situation. I mean I don't know what was on that plane exactly but it isn't good!
Puppet tyranacility
Nanites buzz louder in warning A voice sounds from them Uhh host the missile is literally 20 minutes away and closing fast
First, because I can, I'm awarding myself Third Place.
Go, me!
The top contenders this time were challenging, but here's my decision. Second Place is a tie between Smiley Bob and Zombie Penguins. Excellent work, both of you.
There are many great people who work in the bar Even if some of them are quite bizarre Some may be gone Their memories live on And the best one will bring me a nice Pinot Noir
Hey Brocklandia You're the bar's best janitor No others "work" here
And that brings us to First Place, which goes to somebody named The fields of asphodel, who won by a bonus point for mentioning the most Bar patrons. Congrats, Asphodel!
It’s been a long time since I’ve been to the bar, And the clientele seems somewhat changed. A strange cast of characters, from near and from far, Some alive, some dead, some deranged.
I’ll start with my kudos to Cheffy, old friend, Whose cooking has been some folks’ doom And dear Auntie Flo, watching all our loose ends, I swear that I’ll pay my tab soon.
I’d like to thank all of our bartenders, Your work here is truly an art, And also our excellent janitors, Especially Brocklandia, a dear friend and a champion at darts
Also our resident elder gods and things monstrous, Good to see you, Cthulhu and FSM, And of course, the Cthulhu wrangler, Fabulously fabulous...
Caustic bubbling can be heard outside Later For now we worry about that missile literally 5 minutes away The roar of a jet engine can be heard outside Collective groan from the Swarm Goes outside and bends space around the bar causing the missile to completely miss and transmits data about continuing through the air Right now we worry Swims back into the bar
Congrats The fields of asphodel. You have the option of judging the next poetry contest where you can choose a style and theme.
Mindon
Yep. Wait, at the speed it's going and this angle...
It's not aiming for this location.
Oh wait a minute, EVERYONE GET DOWN!
Mastald
MISSILE HAS REACHED THE TARGET. *a nuclear explosion occurs 100 kilometers away, destroying several nearby cities* *an electromagnetic pulse occurs, crippling most of the country's electric grid and frying all electronics for 1000 km* *this fries all electronics in the bar, including Mindon's Radio, from which he was communicating on* PRIMARY TARGET WITHIN RANGE *and Puppet tyranacility's Nanites.* AN TERMINATION TEAM HAS BEEN DEPLOYED
Puppet tyranacility
Why Looks outside to see the missile curve back *Dejected sigh* Teleports outside and creates a swords out of nanites and starts slicing into it Causing it to explode in a tsar bomba yield non-nuclear explosion decimating everything but the bar and the Swarm and the bunker where the nanites were originally found *Pops shoulders* Well that happened
Puppet tyranacility
Ahem Broad casts a message on their radios That annoyed me don't try it also Nanites buzz violently You can never kill the SWARM Oh and IMPUDENT FOOLS
Oh, come on. If you're gonna rant like a Grade-B movie villain, at least make the rant entertaining? Where's the reference to a secret plan? Where's the "you'll never stop me now"? Where's the manical "bwa-ha-ha"? Rants just aren't the same without the "bwa-ha-ha."
Not with my real name, I didn't. Or do I look like a "Mickey Mouse" to you?
Mastald
Meanwhile, at the Mastald War Room Advisor: Sir, the Mindon Office is calling. The Comrade: Put them on. Mindris: What the hell, Comrade? You nuked a sovereign nation! The Comrade: It was necessary to take out the abomination. Mindris: You're out of line. Stop this now or it'll be war! The Comrade: War! It is already war! I won't rest till that abomination Puppet tyranacility is dead! Mindris: *sighs* You give me no choice. Agent 14, do it. Advisor: Sure, boss. The Comrade: What? Advisor: *takes out a pistol and executes the comrade* The Comrade: Ugghh! Mindris: Good work, 14. Are you ready to push the cover story? Advisor: Yes boss. Mindris: Great, I need to make a phone call.
Mindon
*Puppet tyranacility's phone starts ringing* Hey. It's me. You don't have to worry about Mastald anymore. What he did was out of line and I had him taken care of. As far as the people of Mastald knows, you are merely a scapegoat for an accident that claimed the life of The Artist, which was orchestrated by The Comrade. I know you may be upset about not being able to execute your revenge personally, but I can offer you another thing. Name any person, and I will make them the next leader of Mastald. Not yourself of course, they'll be suspicious about that. But name any single person, and I'll make them be the next leader of Mastald
Of course! She returns with a glass of red wine that tastes surprisingly good compared to many of the bar’s usual offerings. Can I get you anything else?
Max Barry wrote this in News on November 17, 2003, along with a handy-dandy little graph.
"While we're reminiscing, here's a picture of the number of nations we had in the first two weeks of NationStates's life. When I first put up this site, I sent an e-mail around to about 20 friends and told them to pass on the word. Boy, did that work. If humankind ever gets wiped out by a super-virus, the infection rate is going to look like this."
I'm calling it now; Max has a way to see the future.
The fields of asphodel
Puppet tyranacility
Still probably gonna go murder their military leaders in revenge Not myself but you know the Swarm calls for it and I must oblige
Mindon
Bit late for that. Turns out the entire military council came in after my agent killed The Comrade so they had to all die. Currently it's all being set up as a series of accident caused by a plate of bad eggplant.
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