The Disputed Territories of Oldwick is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Sir Alan Partridge of Kipling with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, democratic, devout population of 6.863 billion Oldwickians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government prioritizes Healthcare, although Administration, Education, and Welfare are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Norwich. The average income tax rate is 74.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Oldewiccan economy, worth 456 trillion candles a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Cheese Exports, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 66,533 candles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

High school boys are required to pass vigorous self-mastery and sensitivity training to graduate, the nation turns a blind eye to human rights abuses in its quest for athletic supremacy, any girl that shows an interest in Lego is pressured to study engineering, and Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Oldwick's national animal is the sea dog, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Oldwick is ranked 279,635^th in the world and 113^th in Lewisham Library for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring -10.95 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.