The Republic of Mint Lands is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by King Mayonnaise VI with an iron fist, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, smutty television, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 5.073 billion Mint Landsians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Port Mint. The average income tax rate is 79.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Mint Landsian economy, worth 495 trillion Herbs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Cheese Exports, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 97,634 Herbs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping, the volume of paperwork used to complete a single environmental assessment defeats the purpose, anyone who so much as frowns risks being referred to a mental health unit, and sniffer dogs are trained to follow clouds of fruity-smelling vapor. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Mint Lands's national animal is the Terrapin, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Mayoism.

Mint Lands is ranked 27,757^th in the world and 2^nd in Just relax for Most Primitive, scoring 73.05 on the Scary Big Number Scale.