The Disputed Territories of Oldwick is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Sir Alan Partridge of Kipling with a fair hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, democratic, devout population of 6.881 billion Oldwickians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The enormous government prioritizes Healthcare, with Administration, Education, and Welfare also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Norwich. The average income tax rate is 74.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Oldewiccan economy, worth 464 trillion candles a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Cheese Exports, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 67,549 candles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping, orthopaedics patients often have a bounce in their step, a bill to outlaw math homework has been submitted, and flowering peace lilies are the best defence against Oldwick's military. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Oldwick's national animal is the sea dog, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Oldwick is ranked 39,225^th in the world and 8^th in Lewisham Library for Highest Food Quality, scoring 42.24 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.