The Republic of New Cagayan de Oro is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Sovereign with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, flagrant waste-dumping, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.918 billion New Cagayan de Oroans are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mesopotamia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 56.5%.

The frighteningly efficient New Cagayan de Oroan economy, worth a remarkable 1,059 trillion Gold coins a year, is led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 118,751 Gold coins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 393,289 per year while the poor average 26,783, a ratio of 14.7 to 1.

Computer users are buried daily in thousands of unsolicited emails, "Sovereign got your tongue?" has become a popular idiom, the recently bereaved have plenty of time to mourn during their incarcerations, and the inside lane of every highway is for parked vehicles only. Crime is a problem. New Cagayan de Oro's national animal is the wolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Melchizedek Order.

New Cagayan de Oro is ranked 269,114^th in the world and 16^th in Ancient for Most Patriotic, with 0.83 flags saluted per person per day.