The Olive Green of Eist is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by E Dogg with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and state-planned economy. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 29.849 billion Eisterians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Under the Couch. The average income tax rate is 95.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Eisterian economy, worth a remarkable 4,839 trillion livers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism. Average income is an impressive 162,124 livers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

E Dogg panders to nontraditional families, all industry is owned and run by the government, birth rates have hit an all-time low, and Max Barry is this year's Miss Eist. Crime is totally unknown. Eist's national animal is the goat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Eist is ranked 265,891^st in the world and 581^st in 10000 Islands for Most Primitive, scoring -215.73 on the Scary Big Number Scale.