The Leftist AssemblyBoard

Our first fight is Caelan ap Guthrie, our rapier and dagger fighter out of Nikaia, Ghillemear, against the Karate black belt from Remandia by the name of Henry James. In the first round, Guthrie scored a 7 to James's 15. Surprisingly the sword was no match for the Okinawan art, and James is the winner of that round. In the second round, the score is 19 to 5. It's anybody's fight as we walk into the third and final round. Once again, the tale of the tape is 9 to 6. Guthrie only just defeats his opponent. Congratulations to the great nation of Ghillemear for being the first winner of this bracket.

Next up is Deli Apoll, ranked highly in an unknown fighting art and hailing from Gloucester City. And he is up against Jesse Williams, another karate black belt from Remandia. Let's get ready to rumble! In the first round, 10 against 7. Deli, astoundingly, has taken the victory on this round. His fighting style is indescribable, yet also effective. In the second round, 17 to 18. Williams picks up the second-round win, and again the third round makes the fight. In this third and final round, we have 16 for Deli Apoll against 12 for J. Williams and Apoll is the winner. Congratulations to great Remandia, though your fighter lost the first fight, your second fighter won.

The third fight of the night pits the Russian Kolzak Makarov against Rasim Aliyevi from the Union of Congressional Socialist Republics. the Greater Union of Russia sent a slip boxer, UCSR sent a Judo bronze medalist. Let's get straight into the fight, with an expertly performed jab Makarov scored a 16, and with a hip toss to end all hip tosses Aliyevi got a 14. Makarov brings it in the second round with a 3, and determined to bring glory to his union Aliyevi got a 6. Neither fighter brought their all in the last round, so let's see how they do in the third and final one, as it's still anybody's fight. Makarov failed to duck and got a 4, Aliyevi's striking earned him an 11. It looks like UCSR is taking home a champion tonight.

Next up is The verbal aikido master Sven Azerjan of The Federation of Apricot, against the Russian street fighter Leontiy Zakharov of the GUR. A battle of words against fists. In the first round, our warrior poet unsurprisingly scored a 6, and the brawler scored a 14. A win to Zakharov. In the second round, the words sting more, 13, and Zakharov falls face-first without even being touched, 11. This fight is really hotting up, Azerjan's attempt to cool down the situation scored him a fist squarely in his face, this man is going to need dental, 3 to 20. It might not have been a very difficult fight, but the fighter from the Greater Union of Russia deserves your praise for his performance tonight.

Our fifth fight for the night is Elwynn Coinneacht, a military sabre wielder from Tim-an-Rí, Ghillemear against Froginsworth P. Fuggleboddy, of North Heights, Hecknamistan. He fights with a very unusual frog-leg kung fu. Let's see how this goes, round one. Elwynn needs to spend more time practising their clinch fighting, they scored a 5 against Froginsworth's 14. In our second round, Mx. Coinneacht successfully plunged their sabre into Mr. Fuggleboddy's thigh scoring a 14, Fuggle claps back with a 2. The sword blow was just too much for him to snap back from, how unfortunate. You'd think they'd've banned swords, but surprisingly they did not. We come into our third round, Coinneacht's aim is unmatched with a 15, and Fuggle is defeated with his 13. Good job Chillemear on two wins.

Here is our 6th fight, the midpoint of the event. Hometown hero Nakiwaki Namston, the Nami boxer, faces Rob, Master sleep fighter from New Flamington. A striker against a sleeper. In the first round, Namston tripped over his own feet and tasted the dirt with a 2, meanwhile Rob dreams of electric sheep and dies in his sleep with a natural 1. What an unfortunate way to go out, may a memorial to this valiant fighter be erected immediately in their memory.

The 7th fight. Karate brown belt Adam Savage, against a person only known as "The Flaming Master". Round one saw 6 to 12. Round two another 6 to 14. The mysteriously named Flaming Master wins this fight, but to give Savage a chance to win at least one round we have 15 to 16. Oof, tough luck for Remandia.

In this fight, we have Leitis Brennan against Gregori Anglsworth. Ghillemear against Hecknamistan again. This time it's long sword against defendo. Round 1 Brennan's lunge repost scores a 15, failing to perform a standing choke Anglsworth gets a 3. Second round, with a swipe of their sword against Anglsworth's chest Brennan scores 17 to 8 and wins this fight. To allow the loser to win at least once, 8 against 11. Ghillemear has won all of their fights and all three of their fighters will be moving onto the next bracket.

Here's Vasya Sorokin the Paralich Bor'ba practitioner from GUR against Eric Tacos the 2nd-degree Taekwondo black belt. Round 1 8 to 20, it looks like Sorokin may have had his arm broken. Let's see how that affects him in round 2, 12 to 1. oof, ouch, yikes, in a fit of anger it will appear Sorokin snapped Eric's arm right out of the socket, then beat him with it. Vasya is the winner.

The 10th fight. Samir Azlan, Judo silver medalist. Against the elderly Sun Prik. Prefight interviews tell us Prik is expecting this to be his last fight before retirement, so let's wish him well. Round 1 is a show of experience against youth, 4 against 20, it would be surprising if Azlan's reputation isn't tarnished when they return to the UCSR. In round 2 Azlan looks to regain his pride with a 13, and outmatches Prik's 4. It's anybody's fight going into the third and final, Azlan scored a 3, Prik scored 16. Congratulations to the UCSR on two wins in this championship of championships.

On the eve of the last fight, we have the author Norman Friedpersin once again of The Federation of Apricot against the Gold Medalist at the 2021 USCR National Judo Championships; Yeruslan Aliyevi. Let's get right into the fight, round 1 12 to 2, they say the pen is mightier than the sword, and it seems it's mightier than a kick to the head too. Round 2 10 to 13. Our board kicking gold medalist has no problem kicking through Friedpersin's leather-bound journal. And now the last round of this high octane collision of superstars, round 3 2 against 10. Congrats to USCR on three wins, all of our fighters are moving onto the next bracket.

And now the 12th and final fight of the night. We saved the best for last. Joe Schmoson residing in The Federation of Apricot, master of the power of love. against Sweih Min Chu. He has a wicked front kick move and came from Gloucester City. Round 1 10 to 10, our first tie. Round 2, 14 to 18. The power of love is strong, but the power of this wicked front kick is unmatched. Round 3, if Sweih wins that's it, but if Schmoson wins we'll have to have a fourth round to decide this fight, and the verdict is 6 to 4. A fourth round is needed, and it's 2 to 6. Good job to Gloucester city and Joe Schmoson for being the last champion of the night.