The Bar on the corner of every regionBoard

Nekojin wrote:

Perhaps I can bring a few catfish fillets for them so they are less inclined to eat me.

Always a good choice. Catfish are the bottom-feeding vacuum cleaners of rivers and lakes everywhere, but they're tasty. Garbage in, tasty white catfish flesh out.

The plague docterr wrote:

HEY ill let u know i only got this nose because of a failed Black Plague Cure!
and, if you arent an ¨abomination¨ then what are you? failed science experiment? elon musk´s pet cat? elon musk´s science experiment that went... well it depends on how you see it if it was a failed or succeeded experiment.
im getting off topic here, my point is what are you?

I thought Elon Musk was his own failed science experiment?

Brocklandia wrote:

Apparently radiation also alliterates alarmingly.

Well, you know how it goes, you start alliterating alternatively and all you do is alliterate.

Brocklandia wrote:

We call it by it's name: "Charlie."

How do you... *sigh* Did someone leak the files again? Ugh, I hope those protesters didn't catch wind of them.

Brocklandia wrote:

Good. Dogs annoy me with their constant braying and barking. I'll put up with the sound of them exploding in order to get the quietness afterward. But I'm not cleaning up the mess.

Well, I could sell you some of the aforementioned secretions. I have a vial of them right here.
*takes out a vial with an ivory black swirl liquid, oddly enough it seems to be in some sort of pattern*
I would love to see what Cheffy does with this stuff. Not eat of course. I'd have someone else eat it while I watch. From a truck. About 200 kilometers away.

Nekojin wrote:

Well, first off, I don't know the difference between an 'elon musk' and a regular musk, but I don't really care to go about sniffing any elons to figure it out. And to answer your question, I am what popular culture describes as a neko.

*she claps her hands and is suddenly dressed in a schoolteacher's outfit, next to a chalkboard and a desk with an apple on it*

A neko is described in popular culture as a person, most often a woman, with cat-like features, In my case, ears, sharp canines, claws, and a tail. They are quite common as manga and anime characters and often play the role of the cute, naive character who is prone to emotional outbursts. This isn't always true, however. Neko means cat in Japanese. Sometimes, they gain their cat-like features due to supernatural causes, like me, who's features are product of a demonic lineage. It really depends on the character though, so it's rude to go around assuming we're all failed experiments, you know.

Lesson over!

*She claps again and everything goes back to the way it was before, her clothing reverting to the outfit she wore previous to the short transformation*

Having cat ears isn't so bad. You can hear really well with them!

Huh. I wonder if we have something like you, perhaps at Lab-96 or Q.

Soviet women soldiers wrote:

I am armed and ready if that happens.

Want some Vod Ka Ha Noi? It's better than Svedka!
New Alt Name Poll! page=poll/p=163803

The weekend poetry contest ended. The plague docterr can declare the winner.

Zombie Penguins wrote:

The weekend poetry contest ended. The plague docterr can declare the winner.

Yay, best judge ever, and I'm not just flattering The plague docterr as bribery. I mean, I am saying it as bribery, only, not just as. I ... don't know where I'm going with this. So I can't close well. Don't @ me.

Congrats Brocklandia for being the only one not too lazy to submit a poem. Your reward is judging the next contest. Let us know if you have style and theme.

The Witness stirs and looks around sleepily and checks their phone.

Oh. I missed a lot, didn't I? I missed N-Day. Dangit. I was going to debut a nuke-flavored cola. The sleeping bird gets burned, I see. ...At least I get to watch this highlight reel of drones running amok in my absence. Even I don't know how they make all those explosions....

The door bursts open. In strides a young man, who taps [bartender] Zombie Penguins on the shoulder before sitting down.
"Juste...
...Poutine, those Pan-fried mystères meats, et...
...some milk, please."
In the midst of the awkward silence, the man speaks again, in his odd, perhaps slightly french accent:
"Oh, I'd like to say that I... un... look forward to this bar's succèss in The Alliance of Eros."

SKM wrote:

The door bursts open. In strides a young man, who taps [bartender] Zombie Penguins on the shoulder before sitting down.
"Juste...
...Poutine, those Pan-fried mystères meats, et...
...some milk, please."
In the midst of the awkward silence, the man speaks again, in his odd, perhaps slightly french accent:
"Oh, I'd like to say that I... un... look forward to this bar's succèss in The Alliance of Eros."

*A zombie brings over the food and drink*

Zombie Penguins wrote:

*A zombie brings over the food and drink*

"Ah, merci!... [the eating of meats]
...These meats really are mysteries, well done!"

The young man finishes the milk, and with a final "merci" lays down $11.50 worth of assorted Eroes with a $2 tip, and quickly leaves as he says: "Ma sister will be here soon. Watch out!"

Zombie Penguins wrote:

Congrats Brocklandia for being the only one not too lazy to submit a poem. Your reward is judging the next contest. Let us know if you have style and theme.

Lazy, well that and Maybe and Al

The plague docterr wrote:

Good, just making sure. I got a puppet their and I’m not against them per say but... I’d perfer if some leftists didn’t die

Well thank you.

The plague docterr wrote:

The only person who responded was Brocklandia
I'm giving him 2nd place also he's getting 1st place he's not getting 3rd place though just to annoy him

Gaaah! No Third Place? I'm scowling at your general vicinity. But thanks for the First and Second Place nods ... though these trophies will look out of place in my display case of Thirds.

Zombie Penguins wrote:

Congrats Brocklandia ... Your reward is judging the next contest.

"Reward"? There's no need to be nasty about it. Well, I accept this punishment anyway, with my usual diplomacy and grace.

Zombie Penguins wrote:

Let us know if you have style and theme.

Any type of poem, any subject matter. Funniest pick-up lines can also be submitted. I reserve the right to choose the funniest general comment or to select a random Bar patron out of the blue. Because sometimes just existing can be poetry enough. Oh, and bribes are also welcome.

*Kicks down the door*
Where is the woman Soviet women soldiers!

Kiestarovian mercenaries wrote:

*Kicks down the door*
Where is the woman Soviet women soldiers!

you're looking for a woman? simp!!!!!!

Lord protector of the land wrote:

you're looking for a woman? simp!!!!!!

She is a soviet. And she has a bounty on her head!

The plague docterr wrote:

i have nothing to do with her
*starts sweating*

I don't believe you.

Kiestarovian mercenaries wrote:

She is a soviet. And she has a bounty on her head!

A bounty? B-but she seems so nice!

Nekojin wrote:

A bounty? B-but she seems so nice!

Well she does have one.

Kiestarovian mercenaries wrote:

She is a soviet. And she has a bounty on her head!

Comrade, there is no she. There is only we.

Uber automated luxury cosmic socialism wrote:

Comrade, there is no she. There is only we.

Ok?

Kiestarovian mercenaries wrote:

Well she does have one.

Well, why doesn't she just take it off? I doubt a bounty can be comfortable, especially if it's on your head. I've heard they're quite heavy.
Or maybe it's ornamental? Like those really big nose rings. Those don't look comfortable, yet people still seem to like wearing them.