The Confederation of Vlakistonia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Commandant VX III with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, digital currency, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 11.807 billion Vlakistonians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Crasnychok. The average income tax rate is 95.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Vlakistonian economy, worth a remarkable 4,625 trillion Petro-vyes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 391,741 Petro-vyes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

A faint smell of body odour can be detected at several miles' distance from the National Science Park, a positive pregnancy test doubles as a visa, the Vlakistonian government claim that Vlakistonians are oppressed out of love, and a common response to government PSAs is "well, DUH, obviously". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Vlakistonia's national animal is the Koala, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Conservative Eugenicism.

Vlakistonia is ranked 259,245^th in the world and 1,780^th in Herta Space Station for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring -8 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.