3
Defiguerra Hans v. El Iglesia
Presenter: Ladies, gentlemen, and all inbetween, We gather here due to an accusation directed toward the leader ofall Unojoian military, Defiguerra Hans. Hans has been charged with Treason and attempted Regicide by (of all thing) the CCE. As you may know, Unojo has been increasing military spending for reasons that cannot be said due to this being broadcasted internationally, but the church believes that Hans has planned a coup using the funds. The Representative of the Church Is Sanpai Malnja and on the opposing side is Hans. While the Parlagresso should be on your side, El Saney must be convinced on your cause.
Mal: Whilst I do prefer going by Sanpai Malnja, I do know for the international broadcast might shorten my name... and that is fine. I do not just speak for the Church, not just for El Saney, But for the good of Unojo. Hans has crossed the line and must be-
Hans: Excuse me, "Defi Malnja", but you must wait for me to present myself. I am Hans and I like to speak for all the people in this nation that don't have a brain consisting of ice. This accusation is wacky and unreasonable. I am responsible for the capturing of New Unojo and Unojoish Zealand, I would never try to overthrow the Saney because of the fact that if I would, it might endanger my position. This w*nch just doesn't like the violent nature of war and wants to end the Defiguerra as a role in Unojo.
Mal: Calling me a wrench doesn't change the fact that someone was plotting against El Saney. You are not even conjointist, you might not even have the qualities to be considered part of the first class! You have lived through Namor and now would be the perfect time for someone like you to strike. El Saney has no children and has not married yet. Most of the other descendants of Mina are dead, and you would most likely kill me to get the position of Saney. This man has been to cautious of El Saney's movements for war and would want to take over. For all we know, he could have killed Namor Junior! This crime must be solved a swift axe to the head!
Hans: You must be either high or stupid... Oh wait I know, you're a woman! One who might want to be the second female Saney! But let's address your idiotic finger pointing. First, you should learn some english. I know you don't need to know any for all the painful conjoining you do all day. Also, you haven't conjoined your eyes either. If I was not conjointist, (which I'm not) I would still be allowed because it isn't acuried to work in the armed forces. Being Saney would be way too complicated for me, DFN does a way better job than I could ever! I am 75% english and you are more likely to kill El Saney. With news of your wedding, that would put you closer in the LoS. Another thing! What if I am cautious? That is how we beat the English is it not?
Mal: It was brute force. I know this because I care about the culture of Unojo. Ignoring your comments, you do know that Regicide would not go well with the CCE or Difemanim? You know who would be able to lead a coup? THE LEADER OF THE MILITARY! We are trying to ****Redacted for Diplomatic Reasons***** and you would waste all of that time for something like this! I am also sorry for being proud of our language and not converting to English. We all know you want to sell all of our colonies so you can do whatever you want. The reason we gave CNU independence is because it was figured out that a rebel base was found there. You seem to like Namor more than DFN and would, I don't know, want to avenge his honour by killing his ungrateful son? You would, wouldn't you. You dirty ratpipe!
Hans: You really thi-
Mal: I AM NOT DONE YET! We must execute him in the most cruel way possible! This is an attempt on el Saney's life! If Hans got hold of the crown, no doubt not only Unojo would fall, but Conjointism in this very Universe! I damn you with the power of Difemanim and Cartone, you ill bred swine! IF anyone would believe this man, they are vying for the death of Unojo. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?! WHY ARE WE EVEN GOING TO TRIAL OVER THIS?! THE FU-
DFN: Mal, we have heard enough. You seem compassionate about our nation, but you must meet me and the others at the sea to watch this backstabber's death.
Hans: My holiness, you must have the vote first.
DFN: Alright, who objects to the execution of this traitor?
Parlagresso member: I think we should kill this Ratpipe right now!
DFN: Nulls, hold Hans. Doth thine hath any last words!
Hans: I served many years for this country, and this is wh-.
As a bright flash comes from one of the Nulls, the broadcast ends. It is most likely that Hans is perfectly fine.
Latest Forum Threads