The Fair duchy of Shkolalia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Socialist duke Hans III with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, hatred of cheese, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 9.962 billion Sholalians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of O'frit palace. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Shkolalian economy, worth a remarkable 2,269 trillion shkolalian digipounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 227,839 shkolalian digipounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Sharing vacation pictures requires written consent from the entire beach resort, fashion models are guaranteed to be 100% genuinely as anorexic as they appear on magazine covers, students memorise knock-knock jokes for their mandatory twice-a-term Comedy Examinations, and the government regularly hires contractors to construct high rise apartments. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Shkolalia's national animal is the shkolian angel peacock, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is sho sho macreaminist.

Shkolalia is ranked 439^th in the world and 1^st in Democratic Socialist Assembly for Lowest Crime Rates, with 205.88 law-abiding acts per hour.