Edinburgh Fringe

From time machines to threesomes
12 of the funniest jokes from the fringe
With the fabled comedy showcase running until the end of August, we whittled down gags galore from this year’s standups to pick a dozen of our favourites

Michael Spicer: Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw someone from work on a Saturday.
Susie McCabe: What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
Lou Sanders: I asked if I could change the vaccine I was getting and the guy said he’d get his supervisor. I thought that was like Pfizer but a really, really good one.
Eryn Tett: A spiritual guidance teacher playing hide and seek with kids: “All right, well, you guys go hide. And find yourselves.”
Ignacio Lopez: I come from a long line of immigrants. No, seriously, the queue was massive – the first thing they teach you when you move to the UK is queuing.
Olaf Falafel: I spent the whole morning building a time machine – that’s four hours of my life I’m definitely getting back.
Sophie Duker: Don’t knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate.
Ari Eldjárn: I never wanted a beard. But then it grew on me.
Tessa Coates: Got arrested for relaxing at a campsite the other day – loitering within tent.
Amy Gledhill: I’m from a little place I like to call York. I shouldn’t, because it’s pronounced Hull.
Michael Akadiri: Being a doctor in comedy has got me some fans. I had a guy book tickets to see me because it was the quickest way to get a doctor’s appointment.
Jessica Fostekew: I haven’t got the energy for a hot girl summer. I’m aiming for a warm woman spring.