The Unified Provinces of Polyester Football is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Peig Sayers with an even hand, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, free-roaming dinosaurs, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 14.154 billion Polyester Footballers enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The medium-sized, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Saoirse na mBan. The average income tax rate is 90.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Polyester Footballish economy, worth a remarkable 4,294 trillion Maoins a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 303,406 Maoins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Graffiti graces every city's streets, muggers are complimented on their enterprising spirit, truancy is as easy as clicking a camera icon, and bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of. Crime is totally unknown. Polyester Football's national animal is the Madra, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is An Caighdeán Oifigiúil.

Polyester Football is ranked 1,255^th in the world and 1^st in Confederacy of Allied States for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 934.04 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.