The New Hyperian Piratocracy of Laurentus States is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Emperor Laurentus with an even hand, and notable for its soft-spoken computers, pith helmet sales, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, humorless population of 13.805 billion Laurentians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lumenera. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Laurentian economy, worth a remarkable 5,017 trillion sovereigns a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 363,465 sovereigns, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Families returning from international vacations are unable to get their children back into the country, psychiatrists bizarrely accompany Emperor Laurentus to meetings with foreign heads of state, political detractors refer to Emperor Laurentus as 'that Bigtopian puppet', and the parliament building has installed a revolving door. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Laurentus States's national animal is the Desert Lion, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is None.

Laurentus States is ranked 1,989^th in the world and 4^th in Wintreath for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 8,221.29 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.