The United States of Crab is a massive, safe nation, ruled by The Crabident with a fair hand, and renowned for its punitive income tax rates, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 2.378 billion Crabians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dungeness City. The average income tax rate is 65.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Crabian economy, worth 193 trillion Hermits a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Cheese Exports, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 81,484 Hermits, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A degree in The Crabident Science with a Minor in Awesomeology starts many political careers, the government is funding experimental battery technology while the power grid continues to crumble, human sacrifice to the metaphorical altar of Mammon ensures national prosperity, and cyber-crime and tin-foil hat sales are both increasing at record rates. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crab's national animal is the Crab, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Crab is ranked 280,076^th in the world and 2^nd in shellfish central for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -12.07 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.