The District of Cole County is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by proctor with a fair hand, and notable for its smutty television, irreverence towards religion, and complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 41.73 billion Districtsmen are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small, pro-business government prioritizes Law & Order, although Defense and Industry are also considered important, while Social Policy and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of District City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.2%.

The powerhouse Cole Countyian economy, worth a remarkable 1,893 trillion aurums a year, is led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Soda Sales, Furniture Restoration, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 45,385 aurums, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 160,648 per year while the poor average 9,257, a ratio of 17.4 to 1.

Proctor has just been declared ruler of Cole County in an international press conference, radio shows frequently feature people denouncing religion, government officials frequently cut taxes as a distraction from antics with their secretaries, and the government's official stance on religion is that it is so very silly. Crime, especially youth-related, is a problem. Cole County's national animal is the bovina, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Cole County is ranked 1^st in the world and 1^st in Missouri for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring zero on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.