The District of Bertram Bernard is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Liard with a fair hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, absence of drug laws, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working, democratic population of 27.07 billion Barnardians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Industry, although Education is also considered important, while Spirituality and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of District City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.5%.

The very strong Bertram Bernardian economy, worth a remarkable 1,420 trillion aurums a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Pizza Delivery, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 52,482 aurums, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 356,816 per year while the poor average 2,819, a ratio of 126 to 1.

Bertram Bernard has designated District City as its capital city, Liard has just been declared ruler of Bertram Bernard in an international press conference, the government's official stance on religion is that it is so very silly, and the only issue that Liard has is that there aren't enough issues (Bertram Bernard has found 1 easter egg). Crime is a major problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Bertram Bernard's national animal is the bovina, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Bertram Bernard is ranked 287,986^th in the world and 6^th in Kinshasa for Lowest Crime Rates, with 35.24 law-abiding acts per hour.