The Imperial Free City of Aschenburg is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by The Duke d' Bernhardi with an even hand, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, triple-decker prams, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 13.511 billion Aschenburgarians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is effectively ruled by the Department of Industry, although Defense and Education are also considered important, while Environment and Law & Order aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of le Palais-Royal. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Aschenburgian economy, worth a remarkable 5,357 trillion Gold Aschenburg Crowns a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Soda Sales, and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 396,493 Gold Aschenburg Crowns, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,908,487 per year while the poor average 16,569, a ratio of 175 to 1.

Things are looking up for sentient toilet bowls, religious epiphanies are often cited as a reason for high school drop-outs, corporations donate huge sums of money to favored politicians, and the government has certified several glow-in-the-dark athletes as drug free. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Aschenburg's national animal is the Aschenburgarian Sailfish, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Aschenburg is ranked 270,720^th in the world and 12,680^th in the South Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 1.15 pounds of wildlife per square mile.