The Matriarchy of Kalimport is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Grand Precept with a fair hand, and notable for its smutty television, national health service, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 6.231 billion Kalimportians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kalimport City. The average income tax rate is 91.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Kalimportian economy, worth a remarkable 1,138 trillion Dewgongs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 182,698 Dewgongs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The seats at the back of the parliament are reserved for indigenous ministers, citizens living in underground cities have developed a healthy green glow, internet searches for the inventor of the three-wheeled steam-powered Kalimportian weed picker are way up, and where there's smoke there's the Kalimportian Forestry Department. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kalimport's national animal is the Golden Opera, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Logic and Reason.

Kalimport is ranked 283,974^th in the world and 744^th in 10000 Islands for Most Corrupt Governments, with 0.58 kickbacks per hour.