The Free Land of Altanse is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Zor with an iron fist, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, frequent executions, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 8.673 billion Altanseans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vinska. The average income tax rate is 70.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Altansean economy, worth 957 trillion euros a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 110,399 euros, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

The government offers gay men mildly offensive tips on how to pass as straight, Little League matches are often attended by riot police with water cannon... just in case, pulling weeds is seen as a threat to national security, and promising seven years of bad luck leads to seven years of community service. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Altanse's national animal is the polar bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Altanse is ranked 245,294^th in the world and 335^th in Wintreath for Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry, scoring -9.49 on the Tasmanian Pulp Environmental Export Index.