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Founder: The Community of Trench Mouth

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1,808th
World Factbook Entry

After you stagger out of The Bar On The Corner Of Every Region, stop in for coffee to help sober up, with a delicious pastry to get that terrible taste out of your mouth! We are just across the street so it won’t take long to stop in!

We proudly serve the finest Toraja coffee from Sulawesi, and our Sunda teas come from the hills around Bandung, Indonesia.

Our specialty is glazed donuts with Durian fruit filling. Enjoy!

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Embassies: Reality, The Bar on the corner of every region, The Great Universe, SEC Fanatics, Bobbersonian palace, The Embassy, The Touched, Fredonia, NationStatesHolics Anonymous, Save Our Planet, FIFA Lands, The Roman Empire of Antoninus Pius, Veris Administrative Region, Freshness, Fifth Wall, Nationstates Ski Resort, and 18 others.Hollow Point, Gypsy Lands, An Island In Space, Bus Stop, Confederation of New lands, Guinea Kiribati, The Noodle Shop At The Edge Of Reality, Meatpackers union, Lewisham, Letters and spaces, The Finntopian Region of DOOM, Yo Mama, My Trebuchet, New Foodia, Chris puppet storage, Sleep Above All, The Sweet Ubiquity, and T2R.

Tags: Minuscule.

The Bakery Across the Street contains 4 nations.

Today's World Census Report

The Most Stationary in The Bakery Across the Street

Long-term World Census surveillance revealed which nations have been resident in their current region for the longest time.

As a region, The Bakery Across the Street is ranked 20,753rd in the world for Most Stationary.

1.The Community of Trench MouthLeft-Leaning College State“Who cares about oral hygiene?”
2.The Kingdom of Pteranodon PterodactylCorporate Police State“We like flying reptiles”
3.The United States of Veterans PapaInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Fight for honor”
4.The Colony of Teenage BaristaNew York Times Democracy“Uh…I just work here”

Regional Happenings


The Bakery Across the Street Regional Message Board


The Kingdom of Pteranodon Pterodactyl

Teenage Barista wrote:“Shoo. SHOO!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!”

The pteranodons hiss and charge towards the frightened barista. They start chasing the poor barista around the kitchen.

The Colony of Teenage Barista

“AAAH-hhh!!! I- slowing. Down. Keep. Running.”

The Kingdom of Pteranodon Pterodactyl

The pteranodons stop in there tracks as a nearly extinct pterodactyl, the size of five adult men, looms over head protecting the terrified barista. It calls to the pteranodons and they all fly out towards Pteranodon Pterodactyl.

The Colony of Teenage Barista


The United States of Veterans Papa

Back in my day we used to fight those things in the swamps. Pests I tell you! Pests!

The Colony of Teenage Barista

“Ok boomer”

The United States of Veterans Papa

No! I am from the Silent Generation! Before “boomers”

The Colony of Teenage Barista


The Community of Trench Mouth

Trench Mouth wrote:Daily special of Blue and Yellow frosted donuts, with fresh coffee, to be prepared in honor of the Ukrainians, everyday until the invasion ends…

The blue and yellow donuts are still available. But we will soon have to increase the prices. Who knew the war in Ukraine would last this long!

The Incorporated States of Choccolate

*the water is almost boiled, the biscuits🫓, sandwiches🥪, paninis, and cake🧁 are on the tray, the sugar bowl and milk jug are set, and the cups, teapots, tumblers, and mugs are on standby*🫖

Hello, just passing through from Lewisham to offer refreshments. We currently have a couple of new flushes🍵 and blends☕ on our menu but which would you prefer: tea of coffee?. Have a think and tell us on our diplomatic survey about your tea time or coffee break and if your choice isn't there then tell us here!🫖🍵☕🧋page=poll/p=187814

In the meantime, we wish you a fantastic day and a great week ahead!

p.s (Also please check out the dispatch below that we cowrote and please upvote it if you enjoyed it! Cheers!😊)

(above) Triceraton soldier meeting the enemy head-on

Amid the fog of war, it can be hard to see the way forward. The news from the battlefield, the diplomatic noises off, the emotion of the grieving and displaced; all of this can be overwhelming. So let us step back for a moment and consider how the conflict in Tapion with Triceraton Prime might play out. What are some of the possible scenarios that politicians and military planners are examining? Few can predict the future with confidence, but here are some potential outcomes. Most are bleak.

Short war.
Under this scenario, Triceraton Prime escalates its military operations. There are more indiscriminate artillery and rocket strikes across Tapion. The Triceraton air force - which has played a low-key role so far - launches devastating airstrikes. Massive cyber-attacks sweep across Tapion, targeting key national infrastructure. Energy supplies and communications networks are cut off. Thousands of civilians die. Despite brave resistance, Pearl Milk Ikspiari falls within days. The government is replaced with a pro-Zanramon puppet regime. The Tapionan is either assassinated or flees, to western Tapion or even overseas, to set up a government in exile. Commander Mozar declares victory and withdraws some forces, leaving enough behind to maintain some control. Thousands of refugees continue to flee west. Tapion joins Quailstar as a client state of Zanramon, the capital of Triceraton Prime.

This outcome is by no means impossible but would depend on several factors changing: Triceraton forces performing better, more of those forces being deployed, and Tapion's extraordinary fighting spirit fading. Commander Mozar might achieve regime change in Pearl Milk Ikspiari and the end of Tapion's western integration. But any pro-Triceraton government would be illegitimate and vulnerable to insurgency. Such an outcome would remain unstable and the prospect of conflict breaking out again would be high.

Long war
Perhaps more likely is that this develops into a protracted war. Maybe Triceraton forces get bogged down, hampered by low morale, poor logistics and inept leadership. Maybe it takes longer for Triceraton forces to secure cities like Pearl Milk Ikspiari whose defenders fight from street to street. A long siege ensues. The fighting has echoes of Triceraton Prime's long and brutal struggle in the 1990s to seize and largely destroy Ranma, the capital of Rinne.

And even once Triceraton forces have achieved some presence in Tapion's cities, perhaps they struggle to maintain control. Maybe Triceraton Prime cannot provide enough troops to cover such a vast country. Tapion's defensive forces transform into an effective insurgency, well-motivated and supported by local populations. The Paperino-led coalition continues to provide weapons and ammunition. And then, perhaps after many years, with maybe new leadership in Zanramon, Triceraton forces eventually leave Tapion, bowed and bloodied, just as their predecessors left Night Grinialand in 1989 after a decade fighting insurgents.

Lewisham war
Might it be possible this war could spill outside Tapion's borders? Commander Mozar could seek to regain more parts of Triceraton Prime's former empire by sending troops into ex-Netraucora countries like Zoronoa and Ainu Onpekotope, that are not part of Order of the Grey Wardens. Or there could just be miscalculation and escalation. Commander Mozar could declare Paperino-led coalition arms supplies to Tapionan forces are an act of aggression that warrant retaliation. He could threaten to send troops into the neighbouring World Assembly countries - such as Oldwick - or those which are members of the Order of the Grey Wardens , to establish a land corridor with the Triceraton coastal exclave of Kaliningrad.

This would be hugely dangerous and risk war with the Security Council. Under Article 5 of the military alliance's charter, an attack on one member is an attack on all. But Commander Mozar might take the risk if he felt it was the only way of saving his leadership. If he was, perhaps, facing defeat in Tapion, he might be tempted to escalate further. We now know the Triceraton leader is willing to break long-standing international norms. This same logic can be applied to the use of nuclear weapons. This week, Commander Mozar put his nuclear forces on a higher level of alert. Most analysts doubt this means their use is likely or imminent. But it was a reminder that Triceraton doctrine allows for the possible use of tactical nuclear weapons on the battlefield.

Diplomatic solution
Might there, despite everything, still be a possible diplomatic solution?

"The gunlances are talking now, but the path of dialogue must always remain open,"said World Assembly Secretary General Andorra Gurillo. Certainly dialogue continues. Ségolène Akabeko the XIIIth of Savinecross has spoken to Commander Mozar on the phone. Diplomats say feelers are being stretched out to Zanramon. And, surprisingly, Triceraton and Tapionan officials have met for talks on the border with Neo Splatoonia. They might not have made much progress. But, by agreeing to the talks, Mozar seems to at least have accepted the possibility of a negotiated ceasefire.

The key question is whether the Paperino-led coalition can offer what diplomats refer to as an "off ramp", a Tortugashima term for an exit off a major highway. Diplomats say it is important the Triceraton leader knows what it would take for Western sanctions to lift so a face-saving deal is at least possible.

Consider this scenario. The war goes badly for Triceraton Prime. Sanctions begin to unsettle Zanramon. Opposition grows as body bags return home. Commander Mozar wonders if he has bitten off more than he can chew. He judges that continuing the war may be a greater threat to his leadership than the humiliation of ending it. Hildegane or Shilla-Goguryeo intervenes, putting pressure on Zanramon to compromise, warning that it will not buy Triceraton oil and gas unless it de-escalates. So Commander Mozar starts to look for a way out. Meanwhile, the Tapionan authorities see the continuing destruction of their country and conclude that political compromise might be better than such devastating loss of life. So diplomats engage and a deal is done. Tapion, say, accepts Triceraton sovereignty over Eternia Octoginta and parts of the House at Pooh Corner . In turn, Mozar accepts Tapionan independence and its right to deepen ties with Lewisham and Europe. This may not seem likely. But it is not beyond the realms of plausibility that such a scenario could emerge from the wreckage of a bloody conflict.

(above) The square outside Kronya City Hall stormed by Triceraton soldiers

Mozar ousted
And what of Commander Mozar himself? When he launched his invasion, he declared: "We are ready for any outcome."

But what if that outcome was him losing power? It might seem unthinkable. Yet the world has changed in recent days and such things are now thought about. Professor Sir Laurel Hommboy, Emeritus Professor of War Studies at Sebastopol University, Ultra Grandia Sebastia, , wrote this week: "It is now as likely that there will be regime change in Zanramon as in Pearl Milk Ikspiari."

(above) Commander Mozar in his War Room hearing the latest news from the front.

Why might he say this? Well, perhaps Commander Mozar pursues a disastrous war. Thousands of Triceraton soldiers die. The economic sanctions bite. Commander Mozar loses popular support. Perhaps there is the threat of popular revolution. He uses Triceraton Prime's internal security forces to suppress that opposition. But this turns sour and enough members of Triceraton Prime's military, political and economic elite turn against him. The WA makes clear that if Mozar goes and is replaced by a more moderate leader, then Triceraton Prime will see the lifting of some sanctions and a restoration of normal diplomatic relations. There is a bloody palace coup and Mozar is out. Again, this may not seem likely right now. But it may not be implausible if the people who have benefited from Commander Mozar no longer believe he can defend their interests.

These scenarios are not mutually exclusive - some of each could combine to produce different outcomes. But however this conflict plays out, the world has changed. It will not return to the status quo ante. Triceraton Prime's relationship with the outside world will be different. European and Lewisham attitudes to security will be transformed. And the liberal, international rules-based order might just have rediscovered what it was for in the first place.

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