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The Jingoistic States of Gatarbir

Lotion Empire wrote:OOC: Apologies for the delay in response! Shoulda posted this a lot faster, but I took too long, lol

Date:
 2024, December 9th

Push
Click
Push
Click

Clicking on the pen repeatedly, I looked over the numerous documents before me. One was for the creation and organization of the HDCU sub-branch for the Army; another was for multiple measures to deal with the recent attacks in Petrograd and, most notably, a request for financial aid in Gatarbir. Grabbing the first document, I placed the pen down and read carefully.
The HDCU was a must. After the attacks, strange chemicals and plants were discovered, as were numerous hotspots across the Empire. One sub-branch in the Army dedicated to combating the hotspots and preventing further chemical attacks on the Empire's cities and populace was essential. Numerous volunteers were already ready to join, and a portion of the defense budget was already prepared to be used. All I had to do was sign it and pass it to Bogoma Marka so they could know it and manage it as the Head of Defense.

Click 
Scribble

Signed.

Looking over the other documents, I focused on the financial aid proposal. Some of the expenses had already been spent on reconstructing and recovering from the attacks in Petrograd. Maybe some of the expenses could be spared for Gatarbir?
Scratching my head, I pushed on the top of the pen...

Click

...And wrote away.

To the Federal Commune of Gatarbir,

While we face difficulties at home due to our situation, the Empire of Yakuvony and the Lotionese will do their best to aid in the reconstruction of Gatarbir and ensure democracy can flourish. Finances will be given; we'll gladly offer advisors, alongside providing food, water, and medical aid via air drops and volunteer workers if necessary. However, if possible, we ask for further cooperation between our nations regarding defense matters and free trade deals. Would you be willing to establish a defense pact between our two countries to protect one another and allow vessels from the Lotionese Imperial Navy to dock within your ports (and vice versa)?
We hope for further cooperation between our nations and hope the aid will help.

From the ashes arose,
Sidorov Zhukov, Prime Minister of the Empire of Yakuvony and the Lotionese
...Now, to relay this to the embassy...

It's been a while since Amirkhan sent that application to the ICPJ. He was in no doubt that the various delegations there were raising hell about accepting a dubiously legal war-torn 'democracy'. The Sargassians had just finished repairing the Eiversyte Harbor and were well on their way to repair the Old Town by the looks of it - by god, he needed to provide them with historical blueprints to follow.

He stood up and mapped a path to the National Archives (or what was left of it - the war had wrecked almost everything in it's path) in his head, but he couldn't take one step before hearing the ding that indicated an email. I wonder who sent him one this time round?

He sat back down and booted up his computer - typing the password in, he pressed Enter and opened up Email to see a message from... the Embassy in Petrograd? The Lotion Empire had actually replied to his message? He opened the message up to see the contents before realizing that he was not fluent in Yakuvonian and that he had to open the translator to figure out what the Prime Minister actually sent.

He read through the message - aid, supplies, free trade, navies docking within Gatari p- what? The Lotionese Navy using Gatari naval bases? He hadn't even repaired them properly! His eyes widened in apparent shock - he would not like to imagine what would happen if he allowed them to use the bases, and not the opposite reaction as well. Sei godt! Zhuldyz mas-eine e'piklein! (My god! Zhuldyz was in a pickle!) He could not decide on this alone - he could not decide on this extremely important matter alone, no, not at all. He slammed his hand down on the telephone beside him before slowly picking it up with his right hand and dialing with his left. He placed the phone to his ear.

"Hello Mr. Zhuldyz. How can I he-"

"Get me Murkhov, Le Marchet, Kfelz, Pwyllfeld, Stoichovskiy, de Maaseit, Beichez in my office, now. Immediately. ASAP - we can't waste time."

"Mr. President, what's going on with y-"

"NOW!"

"Well, uhm, ok. Let me hold the line..."

"Ax prochov furweiss." (As fast as possible.)

The line was held. Oh god, they needed to get here fast.

30 minutes later.

Oh god, Jakub hoped he wasn't too late. Calling him in at this hour surely had to be something important - just how important was it for it to be at seven in the morning? He ran as fast as possible, feet traveling at the speed of light, before approaching the door handle to the President's office. He opened it up-

"YOU JOKING WITH ME, LUKAS!? THIS IS THE LOTIONESE! THIS ISN'T YOUR TERMENDOR OR VIERTIA!"

The booming voice of Xave Beichez filled the ears of de Maaseit as he stumbled back onto the hallway, hands on ears. "Bloody hell, Beichez! SHUT UP!"

"My god, we need to calm down. Marchet, pull rank on him please." Nazim Murkhov's voice could be heard as a sidenote to Xave's cacophony as Fabian Le Marchet opened his mouth. "Listen to Jakub, Beichez. You're making me regret appointing you as Army Commander-in-Chief. Really should've put Serrano in that spot instead..."

Jakub swore he could see the steam coming off Xave's head as his face turned the color of pinkish red. "Fine." He said, glaring at Fabian. "If you want to sell out our independence, go out and do it then."

"By god, Xave, we AREN'T SELLING OUT OUR INDEPENDENCE! I'M THE FLEET COMMANDER AND EVEN I'M IN FAVOR OF THIS! We need that technology of theirs anyway, god knows what Serdar was doing for forty years..." Nikochev Stoichovskiy, the Master of the Seas. Jakub didn't have the slightest idea why he didn't negotiate for a higher position - he certainly had the influence for that.

"I tend to agree with Nikochev here.", said Joshua Kfelz, Minister of the Treasury (The Treasurer?). "In all honesty, I think trading with the Lotionese is beneficial to our country's economy as well. They're much more powerful than us, much more stronger economically, and may be the only route to get us out of the recession. No insult to the Sargassians but they're a bit too far. Also, we need to stabilize our economy pretty badly."

"All I hear is opinions and no consensus." spoke up the President. "We need to find a plan and a limit on what we're going to allow the Lotionese to do and what we can't let them do."

"Well, here's one for you." Beichez said. "If you let them into our ports our application to the ICP- no, in fact, any international organization would most likely be hampered. Lukas here will have a hard time trying to find a ally..."

"That's a blatant lie. Have you ever been in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs before, Beichez? Now shut up before you get into territory that you know absolutely nothing about." affirmed Pwyllfeld, who looked to be at the absolute limit of his patience. His face was creased all over trying to hold back the stress behind.

"While I think that trading with the Lotion Empire is very good for us..." Kfelz said cautiously. "A free trade agreement? They're going to have a remarkably obscene amount of influence on our economy. We shouldn't do that."

"In all honesty, I really think our bases and ports need the technology. And no, I am not biased towards the homeland of my grandparents from many years past." said Nikochev. "All our naval facilities are completely wrecked from the war and we could seriously use the Lotionese help. And the offer of protection..."

"We're strong enough to defend ourselves.", said Beichez.

"No, we aren't, as much as I appreciate your spirit." Fabian stared at the Giberanjan. "We could really use the naval help from them."

"So." Amirkhan said. "The general consensus is accept the naval help but deny the free trade?"

"Sounds fine to me." said everyone, but Xave, who said it a little bit more annoyed.

"Alright. Pwyllfeld, I'll send the letter to you soon."

And with that, the emergency meeting ended.

An hour later...

    To Mr. Zhukov, the Prime Minister of the Lotionese,

    We greatly appreciate your help in rebuilding our nation. We will ensure that your soldiers and volunteers are treated with the highest level of respect everywhere they go, and be fed and taken care of adequately. Your advisors would be of much help as well, as collaborating with our own set of ministers could offer new insights into how we go about rebuilding.

    We've had a general consensus on your two extra requests and we can relay the results of those in this message.

    The majority of our council would be in favor of establishing the defense pact, as our facilities are in desperate need of upgrading. You can never be entirely sure what the new Verdantia-Galerium could be planning so we'd like to do this as soon as possible to minimize the risk of an unwarranted invasion.

    However, the free trade deal is not in our plans as of now - our economy is simply much too damaged for any deal involving free trade to be favorable towards our nation. Once we finish rebuilding the majority of our industry, we will review the free trade deal again and see whether we are in a position to accept.

    Finally, we do thank you again for the rebuilding help.

    With regards,
    Amirkhan Voldymyr Zhuldyz
    Interim President of the Federal Commune of Gatarbir

The Resthian Water Realm of The Blue Candy Imperium

Happy Birthday to Taylor Swift.

Also...

The Blue Candy Imperium is ranked 147,021st in the world and 2,851st in The North Pacific for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 1,019.73 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.

The Republic of Florenice

Karamanids wrote:Neither. I prefer Pisa or Parma.

well that’s not very nice

The United Greater of Garfield Republics

Florenice wrote:Do you like Florence or Venice?

I like Garfield

The Infinity Ice Bear of Petronellania

Petronellania is ranked 222,880th in the world and 4,185th in The North Pacific for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -4.27 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.

The Northen Commonwealth of Solania

miyazaki.
look at me.

what do you mean nameless king is back?

The Republic of Iceii

Anyone good at flag making?

The Please don't tg me for endo of Inven

Fungi wrote:how do easter eggs work?

I write this dispatch as a guide for people who hunt for easters egg. most of them are quite easy to find.

#223: Zombie Attack! is found by brains are least inside your currency and inside your motto

#77: World To End, Or Possibly Just Mark Anniversary, #430: Please, Sir, We Want Some More Issues are found, by finding other easter egg, in case of 430, one must answer more then 300 issues to find it. but its not that's hard.

#78: Should We Pull The Lever? is found by having Holy pre-title
#215: What's Your Favourite Colour? if found by having a color, Green, Yellow, Gold, Black, White, Pink, Orange, Blue, Purple, Red, Gray, in your pre-title

#266: Breaching the Great Fourth Wall of @@NAME@@ is found by having NationStates in your motto
#408: Pony Peril [Sedgelight Sparkle; ed:Sedgistan] is found buy having friendship in your motto
#1122: Just Say No to E [Zwangzug; ed: Zwangzug] is found by not having an E in your costum fields, Motto, Pre-title, Leader, Religion, Capital City.

#622: A Holiday Masquerade [The Grim Reaper; ed:Lenyo] is found by having an halloween related animals, during all year, Bat, Ghost, Zombie, Vampire and etc. Bat is sure to work
I made a table to make it easier

During match, if you have Lucky in your motto, Gold Bar as your currency, you can find #375: Keep Your Hands Off Those Lucky Charms!
During December, if you have some Christmas related reindeer as animal or candy cane s currency, you can find, #471: Red Sleigh Down
But it make no sens to have these setting during other month, 471 only appear in December, and 375 only appear in March.
Which leave us with an easy way of find most easter egg

Here's a table to make it easier to remember

or you can let nation cease to exist and refound it

Easter egg

Population required

Costumization required

Other Requirement

Limitations

#77: World To End, Or Possibly Just Mark Anniversary

Unknown

Costumization have no effects

must find 3 easter eggs

none

#78: Should We Pull The Lever?

1.25 billion

Holy in Classification

#80: Aliens Wish Peace/Trade Agreement

NONE

Moon in Motto or Cow as animal

Must have positive pizza delivery industry, if negative revive it

#215: What's Your Favourite Colour?

the words (Red, Blue, Green, Pink, Purple, Orange, Yellow, Gray, Black, White, Gold) in Classification

500 million

#223: Zombie Attack!

500 million

Brains in Currency and Motto

#256: Suburbs Are Out Of This World

must have space program and high crime

#266: Breaching the Great Fourth Wall of @@NAME@@

None

NationStates in Motto

#375: Keep Your Hands Off Those Lucky Charms!

500 million

Lucky in Motto, Gold bar as Currency and Leprechaun as Animal

March Only

#408: Pony Peril

None

Friendship in Motto

#430: Please, Sir, We Want Some More Issues

unknown

costumization has no effect

no Throlle (6 hours delay and answer lot of issues)

require at least 1 easter egg

#471: Red Sleigh Down

None

Christmas or Winter in Classification, Santa in Leader, Elf, Reindeer or Rudolf in Animal, North pole in Capital City and Candy Cane in Currency

December Only

#622: A Holiday Masquerade

750 million

Bat, Vampire, Ghost in Animal

#1122: Just Say No to E

Costumization Field, Classification, Motto, Currency, Denonym, National animal, Leader and religion must have no E

Costum leader and religion is needed, Religion can't be Atheism

You can't hunt for this, and 256 or 408 at the same time

Put Holy Pink (or any color) in your pre-title
Put NationStates, Friendship in your Motto
Put Bat as your animal, and you qualify for easters egg 77, 430, 78, 215, 266, 408 and 622

Exemple :
Pretite = Holy Pink Lucky Kingdom of Fauzjhia
Motto = Lucky, Moo, NationStates, Friendship
Animal = Reindeer Bat
Currancy = Gold Bar or Golden Candy Cane

Once you got those easters, you can your setting to qualify for 1122
Exemple
Pre-title : Kingdom of Fauzjhia
Capital City : Taxilia
Leader : Lydia
Religion : Scarabia
Animal : Cow
denonym : Human
Motto : I dislike Mottos
currency : Coin

as long as there is no e or E you can even remplace e with I or a symbolic letter.

that leave us with two easters egg that are more hard to find.

#80: Aliens Wish Peace/Trade Agreement [Exiled; ed: SalusaSecondus]
#256: Suburbs Are Out Of This World [Scolopendra; ed: Sirocco]

256 is triggered by an important Crime Rate, and the existance of a Space Program, such I know I won't find it.
80 is triggered by having etheir Cow or Bull as your animal, or Moo in your Motto, and an existing Pizza industry. Yes, the guide who say Pizza is not a requirement to find this issues is Wrong. you must have a positive pizza industry, it does not have to be BIG, it must be positive.

If your nation received #288: Super-Sized Pizzas Recipe For Disaster?, your nation can receive #80: Aliens Wish Peace/Trade Agreement
to revive pizza, consult my dispatch List of issues that Revive pizza

Read dispatch

Here's a guide on hunting them

The Commonwealth of Reggae Eternum

CzechoSaxony wrote:Hello TNP :D

Quack quack!

The Northen Commonwealth of Solania

Iceii wrote:Anyone good at flag making?

I'm kinda okay at flag making, I guess

The Morally Grey States of Newest Foundedland

Solania wrote:miyazaki.
look at me.

what do you mean nameless king is back?

Are you playing DS3 or Elden Ring?
I guessing Lord of the Frenzied Flame

The Northen Commonwealth of Solania

Newest Foundedland wrote:Are you playing DS3 or Elden Ring?
I guessing Lord of the Frenzied Flame

a new (non-canon) elden ring spinoff was announced.

and it has. goddamn. nameless. king.

The Morally Grey States of Newest Foundedland

Solania wrote:a new (non-canon) elden ring spinoff was announced.

and it has. goddamn. nameless. king.

Wait did i miss something? hold up?

The Northen Commonwealth of Solania

Newest Foundedland wrote:Wait did i miss something? hold up?

trust me the entire souls community is confused as well

The Morally Grey States of Newest Foundedland

Solania wrote:a new (non-canon) elden ring spinoff was announced.

and it has. goddamn. nameless. king.

Normally I expect Fromsoftware bombs on tuesday
Why do I have the feeling it is someting like extraction shooter? It looks good, but I want more detail about the game mechanics.
Same map by the looks of it aswell, but I am not 100% certain

The Morally Grey States of Newest Foundedland

Oh now I get it, I have missed the game awards stream lol
I forgot about that omega lol

The Principality of Karamanids

TGA was rigged bruh nahhh

CaseOh won the best streamer award, total rigged, how did the barely alive human example of The Great Mighty Poo from Conker's Bad Fur Day win?

The Morally Grey States of Newest Foundedland

Karamanids wrote:TGA was rigged bruh nahhh

CaseOh won the best streamer award, total rigged, how did the barely alive human example of The Great Mighty Poo from Conker's Bad Fur Day win?

I Have yet to see TGA, Big things from what I have heard, Did monkey game win or the DLC?

The Caius of United States of Dictators

Hello and welcome to The North Pacific!

United States of Dictators wrote:
SS Paranormal Division, The blohshia, The people that are people, Netrosyu, JNRDKardfarmer1, Coachman Alatalo, Consertavies, Annali, Amainia, New new providence, Kalias, Usa101, Liomino, Calao, Andist naus, Yousifian free people, Duck8Army, United initial republic, The south korea, Duck10Army, Motu allantatistan, Biegs arvillavicesch, Aquilifer Jussila, Pantanopia, Capitlalism, Black Tiger, Silon kabni, Speaus, Gragplum, Algastoliar, Nor egnland, Vil crnemochne, Dystopiantopia, Western Christendonia, Fordlandian States, Rinrim, Uclana Z, Zhong Guo, Cali camille, Arilexy, Nogori, Ganosta, Turtlandia, The jaggogoths, Gahspan, Smolensk partisan division, Bodyuh, Duck9Army, Douteiniocitala, New jaskry, Duck12Army, United gazi, Olinograd, Palembia, South wesadledervia, Monarch of the skibs, Zostovia, Loisan, Kakalian 2, Povolze, Global conquer, Pin-zhao, Slime krew, Segesta, Maloctia, Sen delo demlja, Divacountry, Philaiksos, Frauldrius, Lalana kuppolhers islands, Mullen is mean, Patrician Nieminen, A basket case xxvii, New draidud, Ree doutopin, United Luckwoa Hahar, Fiens, Kraz new timbidows, Isle of Tumar, A basket case xviii, Shelansheldan, Duck11Army, Bopde70, Gingeralee, Buffalolo, Amerbia cha, Foxberite, Ducren orandia, Aflaks, Viscia fre, Alaeyskia, Flos vard, New Red Crest, Enitteriland, Arlavan, Eastern musersdayf, Agmar, Vosania, Territorio di Nessuno, Socialismo de hungrisban, Superior China, Senago, Willoff, Territorio di Qualcuno


Are you lost or confused on how the game works or what to do in our region? Telegram our Gameside Advocates or the Minister of Home Affairs (>> me <<), we will be more than happy to help! In the meantime, check out the TNP Handbook to get a first hand idea of the region.

This is an automated message.

Certape

Hi

The Morally Grey States of Newest Foundedland

Solania wrote:a new (non-canon) elden ring spinoff was announced.

and it has. goddamn. nameless. king.

And no way it is just nameless king, there is bound to be more returning from the DS series

The Commonwealth of Milano-Florentina

this is a certified revived alt

The Darkened Realms of Shinjoia

Morning

The Golden Throne Room of Ethnon

Good morning RMB! :D

Ethnon is ranked 311,071st in the world and 5,684th in The North Pacific for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -15.26 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.

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