NEWS: PRESIDENT WALLBERG SIGNS HIS SIXTH — AND FINAL — EXECUTIVE ORDER

📰 THE THERRANCE TIMES
MARCH 1ST, 1859
Owned and operated by TWN — Therrance World News

Sheila Anderson — Head Editor

THE BERNSTEIN WAY

Strong headlines. Strong reporting. Clear writing.

🌭 SIX.
PRESIDENT WALLBERG SIGNS HIS SIXTH — AND FINAL — EXECUTIVE ORDER
AFTER FIFTEEN YEARS OF USING EXECUTIVE AUTHORITY SPARINGLY, WALLBERG'S LAST ORDER IS NOT ABOUT WAR, ENERGY, HOUSING OR GOVERNMENT REFORM.
IT'S ABOUT FOOD TRUCKS.
Executive Order No. 6 creates:
🚚 THE FAREWELL FOOD TRUCK TOUR

From June through August 1859, President Jake Wallberg will make official visits to five beloved locally owned food trucks near Capital City.

And during each designated presidential visit—

THE GOVERNMENT PICKS UP THE TAB FOR EVERY CUSTOMER.

Wallberg:

“I TOLD YOU I HAD ONE MORE IN MY BELT.”

Reporter:

“You made us wait nine months for food trucks?”

Wallberg:

“YES.”

THE PEOPLE'S HOUSE, CAPITAL CITY — MARCH 1ST, 1859

Five became six at 11:18 this morning.

President Jake Wallberg sat behind the presidential desk inside the People's House, opened a considerably thinner folder than the one containing Executive Order No. 5, signed his name—

and laughed.

“There.”

He held up the document.

“SIX.”

And with that, according to Wallberg:

HE IS DONE.

No Executive Order No. 7.

No surprise stack of directives during his final months.

No last-minute attempt to dramatically expand presidential authority.

His final executive-order total after three five-year terms will be:

6.

Most Presidents of Therrance sign approximately 45 to 100 executive orders over their total presidencies.

Wallberg will leave the People's House on January 1st, 1860 with six.

And his final one may be the strangest.

🚚 EXECUTIVE ORDER NO. 6
THE FAREWELL FOOD TRUCK TOUR

The program will operate during:

☀️ JUNE 1859
☀️ JULY 1859
☀️ AUGUST 1859

Wallberg will visit five independently operated, locally popular food trucks in the greater Capital City area.

The five businesses have not yet been publicly named.

At each official tour stop, customers purchasing food during the designated visit period will have their qualifying orders paid through the federal program established by today's order.

In simpler terms:

WALLBERG SHOWS UP.
YOU EAT.
THE TAB IS COVERED.
😂 “THIS IS YOUR FINAL EXECUTIVE ORDER?”

Reporter:

“Mr. President.”

Wallberg:

“Yes.”

“This is really Executive Order Six?”

“Yes.”

“The final executive order of your entire presidency?”

“Correct.”

“And it's food trucks?”

Wallberg:

“YOU CAN READ.”

Laughter.

Reporter:

“You governed through a war.”

“I remember.”

“You built New Haven.”

“With several hundred thousand other people, yes.”

“You've overseen energy development, healthcare reform, national infrastructure—”

“Are you getting somewhere?”

“And your final executive order is—”

“LUNCH.”

The room erupted.

🌭 WHY?

Wallberg's explanation was considerably more sentimental than the order initially suggested.

“I've spent fifteen years driving around this Republic.”

“I've eaten in expensive restaurants.”

“I've eaten at state dinners.”

“I've eaten at official events where somebody puts three peas on a plate and calls it a course.”

Laughter.

“But some of the best conversations I've had happened standing outside with a paper tray in my hand.”

Then:

“SMALL BUSINESSES ARE PART OF THIS REPUBLIC.”

“Food trucks are businesses.”

“They're families.”

“They're somebody waking up before sunrise.”

“They're somebody making a recipe their mother taught them.”

“They're somebody taking a risk.”

“And they're places where everybody stands in the same line.”

🇹🇭 “WHY SHOULD TAXPAYERS PAY FOR EVERYBODY'S FOOD?”

That question came quickly.

Wallberg acknowledged it.

“Fair question.”

The administration says each stop will operate under a predetermined spending ceiling, with participating vendors reimbursed for qualifying purchases during the designated event period.

The program is temporary.

It runs only during the Farewell Food Truck Tour.

It does not create a permanent national free-food program.

And it does not apply to every food truck in Therrance.

FIVE TRUCKS.
THREE MONTHS.
FIVE PRESIDENTIAL VISITS.

Wallberg:

“We're not nationalizing lunch.”

Laughter.

“WE'RE BUYING SOME.”
💰 HOW MUCH WILL THIS COST?

The final cost is not yet known because reimbursement will depend on customer volume at each stop.

The People's House says spending limits will be established before each event and publicly reported afterward.

Wallberg:

“It's public money.”

“SO YOU GET to KNOW WHAT WE SPENT.”

He added that the participating trucks will receive their normal menu prices rather than being asked to provide discounted food in exchange for publicity.

“They're small businesses.”

“I'm not going to show up and say, ‘Congratulations, the President is here. Please lose money.’”

🚫 AND NO, WALLBERG DOESN'T GET TO PICK ONLY HIS FAVORITES

A small selection group will identify eligible local trucks using criteria including local ownership, operating history, community reputation, food-safety compliance and ability to handle the event.

Wallberg will participate in the final selection.

Reporter:

“So you do get to pick your favorites.”

Wallberg:

“Some.”

Reporter:

“That's what I said.”

“I'M LEAVING IN TEN MONTHS. LET ME HAVE THIS.”
🍔 THE FIVE TRUCKS ARE SECRET — FOR NOW.

The administration says locations and dates will be announced closer to the beginning of the tour.

That is partly to allow participating businesses and local officials time to prepare for what could become unusually large crowds.

Wallberg:

“If I tell you today, you're going to bother them for three months.”

Reporter:

“We would never.”

The President stared silently at the press corps.

Approximately five seconds passed.

“MOVING ON.”
📅 THE PLAN

The People's House says the tour will be spread across the three summer months.

JUNE

The tour begins.

JULY

Multiple stops are expected.

AUGUST

The final stops take place.

The fifth and final visit will conclude the program before September.

Wallberg has not said which food he wants at the last stop.

Reporter:

“Burger?”

“Maybe.”

“Tacos?”

“Maybe.”

“Sandwich?”

“Maybe.”

“Fried chicken?”

“Maybe.”

“Dessert truck?”

Wallberg paused.

“NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE.”
🤯 SIX EXECUTIVE ORDERS.
THAT'S IT.

Today's signature closes one of the more unusual statistical chapters of the Wallberg presidency.

Jake Wallberg has served as:

27TH PRESIDENT

1845–1850

28TH PRESIDENT

1850–1855

29TH PRESIDENT

1855–1860

Three elections.

Three five-year terms.

Fifteen years.

His final executive-order count:

6.

Typical presidential totals cited by the People's House:

45–100.

Wallberg:

“I said six.”

Reporter:

“You did.”

“Now there are six.”

“So definitely no seven?”

“NO SEVEN.”

“What if there's an emergency?”

Wallberg clarified that today's statement concerns planned policy orders and does not mean the presidency would ignore a genuine constitutional emergency.

But as far as his planned agenda is concerned:

“THE BELT IS EMPTY.”
😂 “YOU'RE REALLY ENDING WITH FOOD TRUCKS.”

Reporter:

“You realize this is going into the history books.”

Wallberg:

“Good.”

“Your final executive order.”

“Yes.”

“Food trucks.”

“Yes.”

“Free food.”

“During the designated stops.”

“Paid for by the federal government.”

“Yes.”

Pause.

Reporter:

“Why are you smiling?”

Wallberg:

“BECAUSE IT'S FUN.”
🏛️ A PRESIDENT WHO RARELY USED THE PEN

Wallberg again returned to the philosophy behind his unusually small executive-order count.

“Congress legislates.”

“The President administers.”

“Sometimes executive direction is necessary.”

“Sometimes it's useful.”

“BUT I NEVER WANTED GOVERNING BY SIGNATURE TO BECOME A HABIT.”

The President said he does not view six as inherently superior to another President signing more.

Different administrations face different circumstances.

But he said it reflects how he chose to govern.

“I had Congress.”

“Sometimes they agreed.”

“Sometimes they didn't.”

“THAT'S A REPUBLIC.”
🔵 MORROW:
“THIS MAN.”

SDP presidential nominee Elaine Morrow was shown the order this afternoon.

She read it.

Stopped.

Read part of it again.

Then:

“THIS MAN.”

Reporter:

“Do you support it?”

Morrow laughed.

“I am attempting to determine whether this is a serious question.”

“It is an executive order.”

“Apparently.”

“Will you participate?”

Morrow:

“IS THE FOOD FREE?”

“Yes.”

“THEN I AM OPEN TO BIPARTISAN COOPERATION.”
😂 WALLBERG RESPONDS

Reporter:

“Morrow says she's willing to participate if the food is free.”

Wallberg:

“Absolutely not.”

“Why?”

“SHE'S TRYING TO STEAL MY TOUR.”

Morrow:

“He's endorsing me for President.”

Wallberg:

“That doesn't include my fries.”

Morrow:

“WE'LL SEE.”
🔴 REDDING:
“I HAVE QUESTIONS.”

TOP presidential nominee Thomas Redding initially laughed when informed that Wallberg's final executive order concerned food trucks.

“Of course it does.”

Reporter:

“What does that mean?”

“I've known Jake a long time.”

Redding said the spending should remain transparent and limited as promised.

Then:

“If those conditions are met, I'm not going to spend the next eight months pretending the Republic is collapsing because somebody got a free sandwich.”

Reporter:

“Will you go?”

Redding:

“Depends on the truck.”

🗳️ YES, THERE IS STILL AN ELECTION THIS YEAR.

Today's unusual executive order arrives in the middle of a presidential election year.

The major-party ballot is established:

🔵 ELAINE MORROW

Social Democratic Party

🔴 THOMAS REDDING

The Old Party

Johnny Sedakis has confirmed he will not run.

No major independent candidacy has emerged.

Running mates have not yet been established.

Wallberg continues personally endorsing Morrow despite remaining a member of The Old Party.

Election Day:

NOVEMBER 21ST, 1859.
🎭 SEDAKIS HAS AN IMPORTANT QUESTION

Johnny Sedakis, now working on his massive memoir, was asked about Executive Order No. 6.

Sedakis:

“Wait.”

Pause.

“FREE FOOD?”

Reporter:

“Yes.”

“For everybody?”

“During the designated visits.”

Sedakis:

“Interesting.”

“Are you attending?”

Sedakis:

“I'M NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT. I CAN GO WHEREVER I WANT NOW.”

Reporter:

“Were you unable to eat before?”

Sedakis:

“It's different.”

“How?”

Sedakis:

“I DON'T KNOW. I'M WRITING A BOOK.”
📚 THE SEDAKIS MEMOIR

Sedakis says writing is progressing.

Page count?

Still unknown.

Title?

Still unknown.

Publication date?

Still unknown.

Reporter:

“Are you actually writing it?”

Sedakis:

“Yes.”

“How long is it now?”

Pause.

“Long.”

“How long?”

“YOU'LL FIND OUT WHEN YOUR WRISTS HURT HOLDING IT.”
📶 PUBLIC WI-FI:
STILL FINAL VERIFICATION

The national public-space Wi-Fi project remains in final remote verification.

Access at qualifying connected public spaces remains:

0 THERRINS.

Wallberg says completion will still occur before he leaves office.

Reporter:

“You finished Executive Order Six before Wi-Fi?”

Wallberg:

“Signing a piece of paper is considerably easier than putting infrastructure in mountains.”

Fair.

🏠 HOMELESSNESS:
PRACTICAL ZERO CONTINUES

The Republic continues maintaining practical-zero homelessness more than a year and a half after the July 1857 milestone.

Wallberg again emphasized that maintaining the system is more important than celebrating the original achievement.

“KEEP IT ZERO.”
🏙️ NEW HAVEN
STILL ~400,000. STILL WORKING.

New Haven continues operating as an established city.

And yes, reporters asked whether one of the Farewell Food Truck Tour stops could be in New Haven.

Wallberg:

“Near the capital.”

Reporter:

“So no?”

“Correct.”

“New Haven residents will be disappointed.”

Wallberg:

“THEY HAVE TWO BURGER CHAINS FIGHTING FOR THEIR ATTENTION EVERY DAY.”
🍔 BURGERFLY AND McBURGER HAVE THOUGHTS.

BurgerFly released a statement:

“WE HAVE TRUCKS.”

McBurger responded:

“No you don't.”

BurgerFly:

“WE CAN BUY ONE.”

McBurger:

“The order says locally owned food trucks.”

BurgerFly:

“Fine.”

Pause.

“WE CAN BUY A LOCAL FOOD TRUCK.”

McBurger:

“That's somehow worse.”

The People's House confirmed national restaurant chains are not eligible.

BurgerFly:

“CORRUPTION.”

McBurger:

“That's not what corruption means.”

📈 THE MARKET
MARCH 1ST, 1859 — CLOSING BOARD

The market, remarkably, survived the President buying people lunch.

SYMBOL COMPANY PRICE DAY
BOT Bank of Therrance 477.84 T ▲ 0.7%
SRSE Sunrise Pictures 248.62 T ▲ 1.4%
GLXY Galaxy Industries 334.18 T ▲ 0.8%
RIVR RIVER Corp. 321.44 T ▲ 1.0%
VNBK Vanderbilt National Bank 338.26 T ▲ 0.6%
MCBG McBurger Group 143.18 T ▼ 0.3%
BFLY BurgerFly Holdings 144.72 T ▼ 0.2%
WYNN Wynn Mobility 125.88 T ▲ 0.9%
THRA Therrance Air 219.46 T ▲ 0.8%
TGME TGames Interactive 201.38 T ▲ 1.3%
WKUP WakeUP Group 85.72 T ▲ 0.9%
STAY StayTherrance Hotels Index 184.62 T ▲ 0.7%
📊 TCX — 12,784.36
▲ 0.71%

McBurger and BurgerFly both finished slightly lower.

We are not suggesting this has anything to do with food trucks.

BurgerFly is.

BurgerFly:

“MARKET MANIPULATION.”

It is not.

📦 THE BOX
THE BELT IS EMPTY

Date: MARCH 1, 1859

President: JAKE WALLBERG

Presidency: 29TH

Location of signing: THE PEOPLE'S HOUSE

Executive Order: NO. 6

Name: THE FAREWELL FOOD TRUCK TOUR

Runs: JUNE–AUGUST 1859

Food trucks: 5

Area: NEAR CAPITAL CITY

Locally owned: YES

Wallberg visits each: YES

Customers eat free during designated event periods: YES

Who reimburses vendors?: FEDERAL GOVERNMENT

Permanent program?: NO

Truck names announced?: NOT YET

Final executive-order count: 6

EO No. 7?:

NO.

Wallberg's belt: EMPTY

Election: NOVEMBER 21, 1859

SDP nominee: ELAINE MORROW

TOP nominee: THOMAS REDDING

Sedakis: NOT RUNNING

Sedakis memoir: MASSIVE

Running mates: NOT YET ESTABLISHED

Wallberg endorsement: MORROW

Leaves People's House: JANUARY 1, 1860

Homelessness: PRACTICAL ZERO

New Haven: ~400,000

Public Wi-Fi: FINAL VERIFICATION

Gas tax: 0

Future Fund: PROTECTED

TCX: 12,784.36 ▲0.71%

FROM HEAD EDITOR SHEILA ANDERSON
THE LAST ONE

We spent nine months asking Jake Wallberg what was inside Executive Order No. 6.

Education?

No.

Technology?

No.

Housing?

No.

Healthcare?

No.

Infrastructure?

No.

Government reform?

No.

Today we received our answer.

FOOD TRUCKS.

There are legitimate questions.

How much will taxpayers spend?

How will businesses be selected?

Will reimbursement controls work?

Will five small businesses be able to handle the crowds created by a presidential visit?

Those questions deserve answers.

And we will get them.

But today's order is also plainly what its title says it is.

A FAREWELL.

For fifteen years, Jake Wallberg has occupied the People's House.

His presidency has included war and peace, oil and housing, healthcare and trade, rights and infrastructure, New Haven and the practical elimination of homelessness.

His executive orders have been unusually rare.

Six.

His last one does not attempt to redefine the presidency.

It does not create a sweeping new system in his final months.

It buys lunch.

There may be something appropriately Wallberg about that.

He has spent years telling this newspaper that the People's House belongs to the people.

This summer, apparently, he intends to leave it occasionally—

stand beside a food truck—

and eat with them.

We'll still ask what it costs.

THAT'S OUR JOB.

And we'll probably ask what he ordered.

That's our job too.

— Sheila Anderson
Head Editor, THE THERRANCE TIMES

THE NEWS SHOULD BE.
THE BERNSTEIN WAY.
📰 END OF NEWS
MARCH 1ST, 1859
Everything below this line is paid advertising.
Advertisers buy space. They do not buy coverage.
NEWS FIRST. ADS LAST.
📢 PAID COMMERCIAL ADVERTISEMENT — SEEusBUYus
🍔 McBURGER

We respect local food trucks.

We also respectfully note:

WE HAVE CHAIRS.
McBURGER
📢 PAID COMMERCIAL ADVERTISEMENT — SEEusBUYus
🍔 BURGERFLY

McBurger says they have chairs.

Congratulations.

WE HAVE PARKING.

McBurger:

“So do we.”

BurgerFly:

ADVERTISEMENT OVER.
📢 PAID COMMERCIAL ADVERTISEMENT — SEEusBUYus
🏦 BANK OF THERRANCE

Six executive orders.

Fifteen years.

Five food trucks.

And apparently one very large lunch bill.

WE'LL LET THE GOVERNMENT HANDLE THIS ONE.
BANK OF THERRANCE
📢 PAID COMMERCIAL ADVERTISEMENT — SEEusBUYus
📚 VANDERBILT BOOKS

Wallberg has finished Executive Order No. 6.

Johnny Sedakis has not finished his memoir.

We checked.

STILL WRITING.
📰 THE THERRANCE TIMES
MARCH 1ST, 1859
✍️ EXECUTIVE ORDER NO. 6
🚚 THE FAREWELL FOOD TRUCK TOUR
☀️ JUNE
☀️ JULY
☀️ AUGUST
5 LOCAL FOOD TRUCKS.
5 PRESIDENTIAL VISITS.
AND DURING EACH DESIGNATED STOP:
THE GOVERNMENT PICKS UP THE TAB.
AFTER FIFTEEN YEARS IN THE PEOPLE'S HOUSE—
WALLBERG'S FINAL EXECUTIVE-ORDER TOTAL:
6.
MOST PRESIDENTS:
45–100
WALLBERG:
6.
NO. 7?
“NO SEVEN.”
THE PRESIDENT:
“I TOLD YOU I HAD ONE MORE IN MY BELT.”
AND NOW?
“THE BELT IS EMPTY.”