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Next Week in the World Assembly: Oct. 29th 2024
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Next Week in the General Assembly
Repeal: “Nuclear Waste Safety Act” (GA116)
So fun fact about this target’s resolution number, 116. By pure coincidence that was my bus number in both middle and high school, even though they were in different states. Pretty neat, right? Lemme tell you what, it can be a lot more than “neat” if you look at it without your eyes, rather, your mnemonisis and the relevant theta waves and high vibration chakras thereof. I had an angel numbers phase back in the day, and I know exactly what’s happening here. To get my pineal gland revved for an in-depth analysis, I brushed up on the contents of my Amazon self-published numerology books written entirely in bold arial text with low resolution cover images. I’m a little embarrassed that I wasn’t able to break this extraplanar cipher on the spot, since everyone and their momma has memorized Adeptus Minor (Without)-tier Papyri Graecae Magicae critical source analyses. Consider, if you will, 11, angelic in character, a hidden 1 as the כתר, presiding over and entering into union with, perchance, a 666 most foul. It’s no coincidence that the 11, דעת, forms an umbilical tether from 1 to 6, in a less than subtle union. In any case, the apocalyptic subject matter of GA116 is a fitting matrix to house the malevolent goetic entity whose Solomonic shackles appear as an illusory “resolution.” And let me tell you what, a low vibrational, dark aura text like this is not getting repealed without a fight. A name like “Nuclear Waste Safety Act” is surely an invitation for entities that preside over fear mongering and text skimming, so I must advise you to not attempt a boustrophedonic reading without proper guidance; I recommend seeking Iehu’iah or Nemam’iah’s help.
With my spiritual sanity girded, I am pleased to inform you that researching this resolution has elevated me into such a profound state of positive giddiness that my cells are now dividing twice as fast. The target is charmingly dated in several ways, such as casually throwing around the “Significant” strength category, concludes its clauses with “Be it clarified”, and some tasteful embellishments like those cute little underlined headings. Sadly, its positive qualities end there. Although attacking such a nostalgiabait resolution feels like skinning a middle aged man alive, its contents manage to irritate me across the yawning expanse of time.
Basically, the GA doesn’t want you to send your nuclear waste to impoverished countries so they can use it as fuel. Well, you can, but there’s a laundry list of invasive regulatory clauses that use uncannily 2024-style phrases like “in whole or in part”, or “so as to fulfill the requirements above”, or “basic handling knowledge”, or my personal favorite, “assess and guarantee that the recipient has all the necessary structures”. Furthermore, as a representative of an impoverished nation, I was a little offended by the author’s assumption that my pre-Columbian adobe brick and in situ earthworking infrastructure would not be able to reduce-reuse-recycle other nations’ nuclear waste. After all, Andeans were already building enormous civic-ceremonial complexes back when Europeans were using “culture” as a postnominal.
Critical feedback
‣ The target should be amended instead of repealed.
Ambassador's recommendation
For - Alright, the Nu Queer Based Swanky Sack’s gotta go. Despite how cute its underlines are. The at-vote proposal does a stand-up job of stabbing the chink in the target’s armor, but it’s so precise, so calculated, so … impossible to argue against that I’m not particularly eager to vote for it. Opting for the ambiguity attack could come off as a little bit bad faith since it's obvious what was meant by “international waste”. But I’m the baddest faith baddie on this website (you can find me on @mugshawtys), and I’d never denounce a well-executed rhetorical sleight of hand when I see one. My only complaint here is the lack of subtlety. I don’t like the target because I think countries should get to buy and sell their nuclear waste however they want to, but nowadays you can’t get resolutions repealed with just a refutation. The textual/precedent meta is completely starved of esprit, and even the most damning of apolitical arguments could benefit from a why to justify the how.
‣ In Queue
Obesity Awareness
Oh boy, I sure can’t wait to share my carefully researched and thoroughly edited analysis of obesity, its causes, and what measures for combating this global epidemic are appropriate for an international organization. I'm really proud of what I wrote. Going all in gave me that sense of satisfaction you feel after absolutely popping off for an essay that didn’t really deserve that much effort. I was so locked in that I wrought in the depths of a flow state what could've been the least mean-spirited thing I’d ever posted on this website. In light of this extremely serious situation, I've pruned my original draft to exclude any friendly, constructive, or well-meaning commentary. After all, I wouldn’t want Ridgefield to be associated with an official who assisted a proposal that was authored by a guy who denounced his affiliation with but yet was nonetheless still indeed at one point employed as a ban-janitor in a conservative evangelical region that has conservative evangelical members who have, shockingly, expressed conservative evangelical views about a political issue on a political simulation website. Anyway, let’s drop in at the halfway point, where I was digging into the rather shoddy presentation of the proposal through an extremely tangential, irrelevant, inaccessible, and overally unfunny bit. Ahem … because of my penchant for high-quality hierarchies, taxonomies, nested recursions, and other categories of being, I was more than a bit irritated by how § 1 is the taxon of a.-d., yet §§ 2-3 are no less hyponymous to § 1 as the lettered clauses are. There are also minor infractions here and there, such as skipping a line between the end of §1 d. and the beginning of § 2, but breaking the pattern by not skipping a line for the beginning of § 3. Alas, structurally unsound information architecture is not entirely based on idiosyncratic relationships between units, rather, also relies on the natures of the units affecting the connective organization in a cascading ontological exchange. For example, § 1 b., “expanding access to affordable, nutritious food”, does not actually describe what this means; are we dealing with multivitamin rations, price ceilings on healthy ingredients, nutritional requirements for corner stores in food deserts? Top 1% Public Transportation Andy would no doubt enthusiastically cry “All three!” before soying out with his policy wonk friends on Chicago urbanism Twitter. But the four remaining fiscal conservatives in the World Assembly would have a drastically dialed-in response by adapting these completely undefined measures to fit into their already existing economic policies.
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Critical feedback
‣ §1 c., “collaborating with the food industry [...]” doesn’t take into account planned economies, and might require socialist nations to partner with multinational corporations that are registered in fellow WA member states. This clause basically accomplishes nothing, since those premium-quality capitalist imports are headed to the Party instead of the bread lines.
‣ GenSec had to take time out of their schedules to determine if “obesity” is a real world reference.
‣ This proposal gives the GA authorization to determine the schedules for every student enrolled at any school across all member states.
Ambassador's recommendation
Against - I’m tired. It’s past midnight. I have to wake up in two hours. I’m cold. I’m dehydrated. The caffeine is making me grind my teeth. My eyes are dried out. I’m hungry, but in a nauseous way. I think about what I’m doing, how I got here. And I’m tired. I’m so, so very tired. My mind is hazy, the gears are rusted, and I can only bring myself to care about one thing: Covenant Shores had that poor kid reading the politically convenient NIV translation instead of the academic benchmark for textual analysis, the NRSV. If you’re reading this, please, I’m begging you, read anything other than the NIV. It’s bad theology. It’ll rot your brain. Your literacy will plateau and slowly decline after college. I’d rather you be a KJV-only guy, even for its inaccuracies it at least respects the Koine sources enough to leave the Aramaic ρακα untranslated.
Next Week in the Security Council
‣ At Vote
Declaration on DiplomacyThe corporate intellect of the WA possesses a very interesting psychophysiological quirk; action potential can only be transmitted if it mirrors a similar process which recently occurred elsewhere in the rhizomatous organ-without-bodies. I beseech you, offer me your temporal lobes and associated external structures for just a moment longer so that I might explain this comparison. Do you remember the 2nd night of September? I sure do. That was when the first version of Repeal "Concerning Financial Fraud" was challenged and discarded. It was pretty novel at the time, and I was very enthused to see the thread develop in real time. Irritatingly, as soon as the GA remembered that challenges exist, they were invoked five more times in the month of September alone. To make matters worse, it stopped being a trite and derivative forum fad when novel approaches were developed, such as playing tower defense for your own resolutions. This rampant uptick in activity would have an uninformed observer speculate as to whether or not the admins added badges for successful challenges. Above all other instances, I believe that this is probably the most comically apparent example of WA Domino Consciousness Theory. But that’s just GA nonsense. We’re a lot more down to earth over here in the Security Council. Our discussions tend to address more intellectually rigorous matters, like if we should make the Injunction category useless but still leave it in the game for those special stronghold-to-frontier situations. Sometimes we’ll even venture into metaphysical discussions, such as whether or not SC74 exists. Tragically, the same monocultural standardization of Being that created such a riotous affair in the August Body has comorbidly afflicted the Swag Body. As some of you may have noticed, we are inundated with meta-to-slightly-meta-to-edging-IC Declarations. You might say “Kay Pacha, as we all know, periodization is key to chronology. How would you characterize this phenomenon?” I’m so glad you asked. The characteristics of currentyear currentmonth SC activity is defined by the kind-of-weird-but-also-charmingly-earnest Declarations of a similar construction which populate the queue in R/D downtime. These commonalities between the GA’s and SC’s otherwise distinct material cultures indicate that the pancamerial mind is a heritable trait, likely a holdover from before the councils were divided à la 1 Kings 3:16–28.
Critical feedback
‣ AI generated
‣ AI generated
‣ AI generated and not forum drafted
Ambassador's recommendation
Neutral - Deadass, this wasn’t part of some occupation? We were all, like, serious about this one? Like, we actually wanted to vote on it? As in, make it a resolution? Like, a real resolution? It’s not just some gameplay nonsense? No queuestuffing? There was an actual TG campaign? An unmarked TG campaign that was sent one-by-one to the delegates?
‣ In Queue
Condemn Jar WattinreeI hope you all enjoyed that little writing exercise. If you didn’t, well, I’m sorry. But here in the Kay Dispatcha you gotta Kay Watchya self, because I’m sipping my Kay Matcha and you might get Kay Gotcha’d. And let me tell you what, I'm feeling a little off my rocker already because I don't know whether or not my eyes doth decieveth me; a real proposal. Like, no nonsense. Just a straight up C&C, no BS, no drama, no demonic possession, no AI fact checking. I feel like I’ve been served a full-course dinner after a week-long cigarette and nitrous regime. Now strap in folks, because this is an interesting piece of legislation we're seeing here. You're about to witness a roleplay Condemnation. This is some primo content right here, I’ll tell you what. For the uninitiated, the currentyear SC seldom receives these kinds of proposals, let alone entertains them with any seriousness. After all, most roleplayers will already receive gameplay recognition if their regions don’t pass the fascism geiger counter threshold to catch a DnD. Gameplay happening, gameplay recognition, revocation of gameplay happings and recognition, maybe a Declaration about something or another. But it wasn’t always this way. In the zygote days of the Swag Council, you could be condemned for oil protectionism, chemical warfare, and genocide. It’s kind of crazy how dedicated the Security Council was to improving the world one resolution at a time. Maybe we should try that out elsewhere in the WA. Note, however, that it was far from a serene golden age of international cooperation. It was certainly bit lawless in retrospect. You could even catch a now-ironic condemnation for being edgy, but in a kind of weird and gross sort of way. Even though this is a gameplay condemnation (evident by the lack of discussion pertaining to the IC citations), it efficiently uses the regional RP as a proxy (this may or may not be the case for half of the RP C&Cs anyway). While I do find all of the described atrocities to be very compelling causes for condemnation, I am a little disappointed that the proposal doesn’t allow itself to become too earnest by continually winking at the audience, both with the somewhat memey language and the absurdity of the references. But this is to be expected, and shouldn’t necessarily be treated as a flaw in the proposal. Despite how much I miss when drama in the passively accepted RP-R/D sitewide universe escalated enough to become everyone else’s problem, it would be weirdly out of place in 2024. A self-aware text describing absolutely preposterous regional roleplay events makes sense in the modern day, and it’s a pleasant reiteration of an older practice. Maybe this is even an improvement on account of the correct spelling and coherent argumentation.
Critical feedback
‣ The only way you could really try criticize this is with some intentional IC obtuseness about syntax and semantics. Or with the stuff I've already yapped about. Completely fine.
Ambassador's recommendation
For - I'm a sensitive person. But usually I can handle the online-real life barrier. For the most part, NationStates is completely compartmentalized, quarantined from the rest of my life. But sometimes, things learn how to follow you. Little seeds can get planted in your mind, and you don't even notice that they're germinating, the roots growing, boring through your gliocytes, laying in wait...patiently. And once you've tried to fall asleep for ten minutes, its baleful fruit bursts forth and impregnates your perception of reality with a vile curse, shoving your consciousness into a truly terrible world of saddening images and inescapable horrors that only grow, stack, and evolve into even more uncomfortable thoughts, cruel, wanton violence and disregard for the fleeting preciousness of life. This morning I donated to my local herpetological rescue and adoption organization. We'll call it the WA General Fund.
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