18
Dispatch → Factbook → Overview
by 
The Regret-Filled Park Rangers of Beaver Bush Ranger Station.
.
339 reads.
Welcome To The San Andreas National Park Service - "You Can Always Be More Bored!"
Welcome To The San Andreas National Park Service Official Website
The 'natural beauty' of the state of San Andreas. Ready to be unlocked and discovered by you going on hikes to ignore your wife and those kids you didn't want. The joy of
nature's abundance, watching animals maul each other or bang in the open expanses of the wilderness. Enjoying the friendly company of your fellow bored, ignorant and
drunk Americans. Getting drunk yourself and then getting maced by the hot Park Ranger lady you tried to make out with on a dare. Watching cackling and spotty teenagers
trying to set wildfires. Setting up the tent wrong, and then getting into a divorce-causing argument that will traumatize your kids. Crapping in the woods, then crapping your
pants when you think you heard a menstration-crazed bear. Going on guided tours from Rangers who long ago lost any passion for the parks and are a lost pension away
from turning their gun on themselves.
You're more than just a hipster climbing Mount Gordo. You're most than just a serial killer burying your latest victim. You're more than a deadbeat father with a bad marriage. And you're more than a drunkard. You're in a San Andreas National Park.
Try to enjoy yourself.
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