How could I resist my curiosity?

It didn't get me far. I found a few scraps of evidence. She was notorious for having her Pokemon force opposing trainers into sleep. She had at one time been a member of Team Flare. When someone told me she had a thick Galarian accent, I immediately arranged a relocation to Galar. I was a man on a mission but every promising avenue soon became a dead end. I was in Galar for three years before I found her, and not remotely through lack of trying. I left my apartment rarely. I made few friends, and fewer relationships. I continued my work, but I savoured being able to clock off and return to my quest.

As I leafed through the Galarian Chronicle one morning, a small advertisement caught my eye. On the face of it, nothing was odd - a litter of Minccino pups for sale. But the picture was... off. The quality was so low that I could count the pixels, but I could also make out that these were distinctly not Minccinos. In my mind I was already imagining the headlines - was this a larger operation? Were Team Rocket involved? Were they really selling Minccino pups, or was this code for the illegal smuggling of Alolan Digletts?

Then I spotted the email address listed - sammuramat@galaronline.com. A little known alias of Trainer Nakari, from before she became an underworld legend. I'd done my research well. This had to be her. At first, with my fingers trembling, I typed up an enquiry about the Minccino pups. Then I deleted it. I had a strange feeling that if I lied, she'd know.

I told her I wanted to see her team and learn more about the woman behind the shadowy reputation.

After a lot of persuading and price negotiation, she agreed to the following interview.

Nakari has given me an address in the bowels of Motostoke. I reach it, and look around, confused. Then there's darkness. A bag is pushed over my head. I hear a voice, female - "It's Nakari. Let's go." She leads me into what I can only assume is either the colon or perhaps rectum of Motostoke.

She bundles me through a door and secures me to a chair, then finally permits me to see. She's a short woman with a mane of red hair.

"Ask your questions."

I can barely speak. When I began on this journey I didn't know how emotionally invested I'd become. "Nakari," I manage. "I'm your biggest fan."

"That's nice. I'll sign my autograph on your cast."

"My cast?"

"For your broken bones."

"I don't have any."

"Oh, that's good," she says cheerily and with not even the faintest hint of malice, "I hope it stays that way."

I gather myself, still beaming. "So, when did you decide to become a trainer?"

“I saw that trainers get rich.” She’s smart, I note. A business woman.

“Why do you hide your identity and your team?”

“I’m shy,” she says. It’s adorable.

"Tell me about your team."

At that, she brightens up, and drags my chair into a dark room with two small enclosures.

"This is my Wooloo, Morrigan."

"Wow. She's... small, for a Wooloo."

"Yes, but deadly. She's taken down a Groudon before just with Kick and Scratch."

Morrigan looks at me blankly. Nakari unties me and allows me to feed her a Poke Puff, but the Wooloo just nibbles halfheartedly on the packaging.

Outside, she introduces me to her Pikachu. It is, again, unusually small for its breed, but it zips around happily and chatters like static electricity.

"She's called Popcorn," Nakari announces proudly. "She's the heart of the team. Bit of a glass cannon - speedy and persistent, but vulnerable. The others would knock themselves out to protect her. Absolute sweetheart."

"Can I touch her?"

"Sure."

"I mean - the static electricity doesn't hurt?"

"What static electricity?"

Nakari picks up Popcorn and brings her inside with us, casually petting her, as we return to the room where she had showed me her Wooloo.

"I notice you don't keep your team in Pokeballs. Why is that?"

"They don't fit."

"Well - " I laugh nervously, not wanting to mansplain to an expert, but doing so anyway - "there isn't really a size limit, they can be infinitely compressed. You don't need to worry about them not fitting."

"I wonder," she says, kindly, sweetly, gently, her eyes full of love, "how far you could be compressed. Do you want to meet the last member of my team?"

The last member is lounging in its pen. It perks up when Nakari comes near, squeaking in a high tone - I can only assume it was saying its species name but I couldn't make out the syllables.

"Lillipup," she says, dreamily. "Isn't she cute? No - don't put your fingers near there, she bites. She's a fierce one, aren't you, Lillipup? Aren't you the sweetest little killer? Yes you are!"

"Are you sure that's a Lillipup?"

"Yes, why wouldn't she be?"

"She doesn't look very much like a Lillipup."

Nakari smiles and opens Lillipup's pen, then retreats to stand by the door.

It comes to me in a lightning flash and I feel silly for having been fooled, then smart for figuring it out. "Is this a trick? I mean - all your Pokemon are tiny, they're not even evolved forms. And winning with just three Pokemon? Bull-basaur. You're clever, Nakari, I'll give you that - this is just another layer in your secrecy. But I see through you. No - I see you."

Her smile grows, showing teeth. Encouraged, I approach her with my hand held out as if trying to befriend a wild Deerling before it bolts.

"I've proven my worth, haven't I? I did my research. I hunted you down. I figured out your tricks. I know you like nobody knows you. You don't even know yourself like I know you! You think you've blocked off the route to your heart. But I'm here now, Nakari. I'm ready to battle my way through to you."

"Battle me? With what Pokemon?"

"It's a metaphor," I laugh.

"I mean, we can battle. If you want."

It's more than I could have ever dreamed. I feel almost dizzy. "Yes!" But when I reach into my pocket to bring out my Pokeballs, it's empty.

Nakari tilts her head. "Well," she says with a generous smile, "that's a shame isn't it."

She opens the door. I'm frozen.

"Morrigan, Popcorn, Lillipup," she calls out in her sweetly melodic voice, "kill him."

The door closes quietly.

Moves.

Scald LV 1.
Acid LV 3.
Tasty Residue LV 5. New Move (90 power) (Special)
Aqua Jet LV 8.
Muddy Water LV 10.
Toxic LV 11.
Toxic Wall LV 15. New Move [All physical attacks poison the enemy for 5 turns. (Status)[/b]
Blizzard LV 17
Hail LV 18
Soak LV 20
Withdraw LV 25
Life Dew LV 30
Ice Beam LV 35

Teaberculosis LV 25-40.

/

Moves.

Ice Beam LV 26.
Icicle Clash LV 27.
Industrial Upgrade LV 30 New Move (It allows you to have 5 moves for 5 turns, the 5th move your recieve is random.) (Status)
Dazzling Gleam LV 32.
Freeze Dry LV 35.
Sludge LV 40.
Gunk Shot LV 45.

Mousmite LV 4-10.

/

Moves.

Protect LV 1
Toxic LV 1
Mirror Coat LV 4
Silver Wind LV 4
Bug Bite LV 5
Acid LV 7.
Bug Shot LV 10. New Move (70 power) It reduces the speed depending on the current speed stat of your pokemon. (Special)
Bite LV 15.
Beat Up LV 17.
Crunch LV 20.
U turn LV 25.

Moneystar LV 2-20

/

Moves.

Protect LV 1
Gold Rush LV 2
Minimize LV 5
Life Dew LV 10
Aqua Jet LV 15
Pay Day LV 17.
Clear Smog Lv 20.
Industrial Upgrade LV 21.
Bubblebeam LV 24.
Spirit Break LV 26.

Teaberculosis LV 40. /

Moves.

Scald.
Toxic.
Industrial Upgrade.
Ice Beam.

Held Item: Never-Melt Ice.

Weezing LV 42.

Moves.

Sludge Bomb.
Toxic.
Self-Destruct.
Protect.

Held Item: Poison Barb.

Claydoll LV 45.

/

Moves.

Rest.
Trick Room.
Pysbeam.
Light Screen.

Held Item: Leftovers.

Muk LV 40.

Moves.

Minimize.
Sludge.
Toxic.
Dig.

Held Item: Poison Barb.

Kadabra LV 45.

Moves.

Pyschic.
Recover.
Calm Mind.
Rest.

Held Item: Leftovers.

Gardevoir LV 50.

/

Moves.

Calm Mind.
Thunder Punch.
Fire Punch.
Pyschic.

Held Item: Gardevoirite.