Protestant and Orthodox Leaders Declare Reunification Under the Holy See

VATICAN CITY – Following centuries of separation, Protestant and Orthodox leaders met with the Pope last week to finalize the reunification of the three churches under the Holy See. The historic agreement is the result of more than a decade’s worth of un-publicized talks between Protestant, Orthodox, and Roman Catholic leaders at the urging of the Byzantine Emperor.

Prominent American pastors Joel Osteen and Rick Warren, as well as Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury, along with the Patriarchs of Constantinople, Alexandria, Antioch, Jerusalem, Moscow, and others, were among the delegation that met with the Pope last week. Pastor Warren, founder of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California, spoke with members of the international press in St. Peter’s Square, saying, “Protestants, as a people, have a long history of heresy. The time for reconciliation is now in order to ensure a full and dogmatic transition into the folds of the one true universal Church.”

Moments before meeting with reporters, the entire delegation, for the first time ever, entered the confessional as one to take part, individually, in the Sacrament of Penance. “It’s important that we participate in these sacred rituals before asking our congregation to do the same,” Pastor Osteen said, adding that his time in confession was “an immensely moving experience.”

As Protestants and Orthodox around the world make the transition to true Catholicism, many are wondering what, exactly, that means for them. “First and foremost we acknowledge the Pope’s infallibility with regard to universal moral declarations, the authority of the Magisterium, faith, and ex cathedra,” said Father Andrey Tkachev, a former Orthodox priest who was the first of the delegation to be ordained as a priest at the Vatican. “Secondly, we participate in the sacrament of the Eucharist by accepting the actual body and blood of Christ, an event known as Transubstantiation, at the conclusion of the holy mass.”

As part of their induction into the true Catholic faith, all Protestants and Orthodox above the age of fifteen are required to undergo a Catholic Confirmation, one of three sacraments of initiation, out of seven total, which Catholics can receive. “Most, if not all, of us have been baptized,” said Father Cyrill Brogran, a former Protestant pastor. “However, without formal Confirmation, our Protestant baptisms will be null, thus preventing us from entering the Kingdom of Heaven.”

Additionally, during the transition period, American Protestant families whose children attend Sunday School are to receive vouchers allowing them to participate in CCD programs at area Catholic churches.

In a show of support for the reunification under the Holy See, the United Kingdom announced Wednesday that it is taking steps to reunify Northern Ireland with the former Republic of Ireland, which is currently part of the Byzantine Empire of Constantinolia. The government of the UK has acknowledged the stark differences between the two countries, but according to one official, “We are, for the first time, one people, united under the Bishop of Rome, acting together as the bride and servant of Christ.”