The Irn-Bru Guzzling People of Zeontarg is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Cthulhu with an iron fist, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, strictly enforced bedtime, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 43.588 billion Zeontargians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Naranjo. The average income tax rate is 90.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Zeontargian economy, worth a remarkable 4,994 trillion Stirling Pounds a year, is extremely specialized and solely comprised of the Book Publishing industry. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 114,574 Stirling Pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Zeontargians refer to transgender people with insults instead of pronouns, the nation's police officers are famously miserable-looking, visions of giant pink Thistles are a common side effect after Zeontargians eat their meals, and tax revenue is often intercepted by international accountants before ever seeing the national treasury. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive. Zeontarg's national animal is the Thistle, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Zeontarg is ranked 1^st in the world and 1^st in Hapes Consortium for Lowest Crime Rates, with zero law-abiding acts per hour.