The Republic of You 498 is a colossal, genial nation, remarkable for its parental licensing program, smutty television, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, hard-working population of 8.06 billion You 498ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 41.5%.

The You 498ian economy, worth 335 trillion dollars a year, is dominated by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration, Woodchip Exports, and Trout Farming. Average income is 41,574 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

Popular cartoon characters frequently appear in government-sponsored PSAs reminding students to say no to drugs, engineers ask liberal arts majors "Do you want fries with that?", programmes of questionable content are shown at peak-hours, and soldiers stream their classified military operations live for millions of fans. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. You 498's national animal is the wolf, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

You 498 is ranked 113,683^rd in the world and 386^th in Dead Sea for Lowest Crime Rates, with 64.3 law-abiding acts per hour.