The Most Serene Republic of Wooloo Unitedstrtes is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Jim Pickens with an iron fist, and renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, compulsory military service, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 4.626 billion Wooloo Unitedstrtesians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Novorossilkovo. The average income tax rate is 97.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Wooloo Unitedstrtesian economy, worth a remarkable 1,371 trillion WOOPS a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 296,530 WOOPS, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government is pouring money into 'Operation Enduring Democracy', hotels often double as quarantine zones, Max Barry is this year's Miss Wooloo Unitedstrtes, and it is often said that only Jim Pickens could bring down Dàguó. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Wooloo Unitedstrtes's national animal is the Wooloo, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Wooloo Unitedstrtes is ranked 4,683^rd in the world and 241^st in The North Pacific for Smartest Citizens, with 131.09 quips per hour.