The United Kingdom of Wellsia is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by King with an iron fist, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, frequent executions, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 8.843 billion Wellsians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ealdwic. The average income tax rate is 4.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Wellsian economy, worth a remarkable 2,113 trillion scales a year, is dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 238,953 scales, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

The nation grinds to a halt for afternoon tea, putting a mustache on a banknote is considered defacing a national monument, cane fights are a common sight in nursing homes, and elderly citizens regularly buy posh multimillion-scale mansions. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Wellsia's national animal is the Tiger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Saculeum.

Wellsia is ranked 1,445^th in the world and 5^th in The Western Isles for Most Primitive, scoring 210.21 on the Scary Big Number Scale.