The Union of United Socialist Republics of LAN is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Chairman Sebskij with an even hand, and remarkable for its otherworldly petting zoo, state-planned economy, and national health service. The compassionate, cheerful population of 18.639 billion LANians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dragon's Nest. The income tax rate is 100%.

The enormous but underdeveloped LANian economy, worth a remarkable 2,356 trillion Sebskijs a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 126,429 Sebskijs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People say chess victor Chairman Sebskij can kill you with mind-bullets, employees who skip lunch to avoid sub-par cafeteria food risk getting fired, holiday light displays just aren't the same without seizure-inducing strobe effects, and literature classes frequently go on field trips to rock concerts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Socialist Republics of LAN's national animal is the Dragon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

United Socialist Republics of LAN is ranked 261,708^th in the world and 535^th in The Leftist Assembly for Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry, scoring -26.8 on the Tasmanian Pulp Environmental Export Index.