The United Socialist States of Tulov is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Arkady Rossovich with a fair hand, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, free-roaming dinosaurs, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 16.547 billion Tulovians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tula. The average income tax rate is 79.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Tulovian economy, worth a remarkable 3,292 trillion Tulovian Rubles a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 198,972 Tulovian Rubles, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Polygraphs are relegated to the dungeon exhibit in castle museums, Tulovian actors literally work from cradle to grave, pareidolic SETI scientists swear there's a message from aliens hidden within pi, and no cul-de-sac or trailer park is complete without a gambling parlor. Crime is almost non-existent. Tulov's national animal is the Blackbird, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is State Atheism.

Tulov is ranked 158,871^st in the world and 272^nd in Conch Kingdom for Lowest Crime Rates, with 60.25 law-abiding acts per hour.