The Kingdom of Thurland is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by King Frederick I with an iron fist, and renowned for its closed borders, public floggings, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.948 billion Thurlandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Administration, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Social Policy and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Thurston. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Thurlandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,796 trillion Thurlandian Shillings a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, Furniture Restoration, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 258,607 Thurlandian Shillings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky, everyone is absolutely thrilled to see King Frederick I, criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program, and vital intelligence-gathering activities are put on hold as agents return home for seduction training and advanced poker instruction. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thurland's national animal is the Stag, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Church of Thurland.

Thurland is ranked 1,212^th in the world and 10^th in The East Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 123.4 flags saluted per person per day.